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ZetaCel
Junior Member

since 2003-01-30

Posts 18

0 posted 2003-02-01 07:38 PM

Silver glistens the luminous sky,
Waves of burning firestones flash,
Gazing into an airy firmament,
Such is enigma so high.
In free of breath do I lie,
Burning embers fly and dash,
The seas firth reaches out in enthrallment,
Its hand draws me nigh.
Another stream flows by,
Nebulae make up the sash,
Set in silver is the moment,
Paused in the rising of an eye.
Without a question of why,
A globe surrounded by ash,
Confined to an ethereal internment,
It must forever fly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Opinion is nothing more than ones point of view."

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

1 posted 2003-02-01 11:58 PM

ZetaCel:

So, my vocabulary is now enhanced...^^
I'd have to say that you paint incredibly vivid pictures with your words. All I saw was fire FIRE FIRE...and then I stopped, dropped and almost rolled off a cliff to my pitiful doom, so I blame my almost-death on you. ^^;

Nonetheless, the words match the theme of your poem, which is what I enjoyed the most. Oh! And we can't forget about the rhyme scheme. ^_^ That was cool. A-B-C-D all the way, right up to the end. Well, now that I think of it, it could be A-B-C-A. Doesn't matter though.

However, all I got from this poem was images. Was there a purpose/point? Just curious. ^^

I admire your extensive vocab. It's the type I'd probably use as well, so I can identify. ^_^ Our styles are pretty similar...were. But enough said! I look forward to your next post!

-Leah

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

2 posted 2003-02-02 12:35 PM

this is really good. i showed this to a friend of mine as well. she agrees! simple phenomenal

Thank you God, mom, dad, karen, and all angels everywhere.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2003-03-04 07:19 PM

Shaun~
This is a nicely written piece.
I very much enjoyed the read and I look
forward to reading lots more from you.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (03-04-2003 07:19 PM).]

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