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snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

0 posted 2003-06-09 12:49 PM

Sitting, crying
Tying my shoes
On the laundry room floor
Wondering
Where you could be,
With her?
You deny her to me
Always changing tune
Putting on a smile
As I walk into the room
All the whispers seizing
As I sit on your lap
You always accuse me
Of teasing
My cup gets slowly emptied
Nothing has been the same
For the days you left me
To sleep alone
When no one was home
I was too afraid.

infinite disaster
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 69
Illinois

1 posted 2003-06-09 01:18 AM

i like this poem. ur a good writer. keep up the good work.
much love, akie.

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

2 posted 2003-06-09 01:57 AM

l like, sno. it's got an interesting rythm to it (l know l didn't spell that right, but...arrgh) and the rhyms flow good...
l like.
l really do. reminds me of myself insome ways.
laurie.

Toasty
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

3 posted 2003-06-09 12:04 PM

wow... powerful, in a quiet way. I can relate to that poem than words can express. way to go. You put into words what some can never truly express. Good job!

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales.

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

4 posted 2003-06-09 01:47 PM

Hey, This was a great write, I liked the insignificant details in it, like where you were tying your shoes. To me noticing those little things that make up everyday life, is what distinguishes the good writers from the great ones.

Great Job,
Forever alive,
Forever eternal
DaRkNeSs

LegalSecret69
Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 69
Virginia

5 posted 2003-06-10 08:24 PM

I have to agree...this was really good. good job -Secret

Kaydo
Junior Member

since 2003-06-02

Posts 17
Washington, USA

6 posted 2003-06-11 05:11 AM

Not to long, not to short. Its a quick easy read that gets the job done well. I loved the flow of it. Truely a wonderful Job.

Great job hope to see more of your writing.

Work like you don't need the moeny, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt.

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