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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-02-28 06:52 PM

Once
when my dreams were real
and my heart wasn't cold
I could feel
and even hold
the stars.
When days went by
and I could sleep
looking at the sky
and not weep
from the scars.
When the pain
didn't flow so much
before my heart was slain
and I could just clutch
those cries.
Since I saw you go
nothing's been the same
and even though
I know I'm to blame
for wearing a disguise
I can't take much more
Answer me one thing
As you slammed shut the door
did you feel the sting
that hid all those lies?...

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

1 posted 2003-02-28 08:21 PM

I liked this poem Staci. I am debating who this one might be about...and I think I have a good idea.

I liked the wording and the way I can kind of imagine it as myself as I read. Good write sweetie.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2003-02-28 08:27 PM

not bad Stac...not bad at all...well thought out and written.

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

3 posted 2003-03-01 11:12 PM

thank you both. i'm glad you each liked this.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

4 posted 2003-07-24 11:48 PM

Staci...The fact that I know who this is about...just makes me look at it completely different. Hun...I know that you've been hurt...but you can't shut everyone out. You have to let someone in sometime...

Don't block the world out...it will miss you too much. I know I will. Love you, man. Always...

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

5 posted 2003-07-24 11:51 PM

wow.....most excellent write dude.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

6 posted 2003-07-25 12:00 PM

I printed this one out a LONG while ago. I found it to be quite moving and I still do. Great write, I LOVE it!

Megan is right, ya know. Don't forget what she said. I'd miss you too!!! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

7 posted 2003-07-25 12:05 PM

Thanks everyone...

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

8 posted 2003-07-25 12:35 PM

The chill, the pain, the lies... so real. Very in the moment and it gives the personal experience. Good Job.

NJS

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

9 posted 2003-07-26 11:05 PM

mmm...I loved this. So much emotion. The best I've read from you. Funny how people change you..
~Lex..

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

10 posted 2003-07-26 11:41 PM

i liked this a lot, but i have a question, the once at the beginning, is that just a recall of the title, or a part of the poem...

lol, but seriously, this was a very "drew me in" type of poem...loved it

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

11 posted 2003-07-27 05:50 PM

I can relate to this poem sooo well.
Excellent, excellent job.
I especially love the beggining.
Another for my library.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

12 posted 2003-07-28 01:48 AM

This is a great poem, Grinder. I enjoyed the read, because it was... real. And real in poetry is important to me. This was beautiful. I hope it was ultimately helpful for you to use poetry as a theraputic tool, you know? It's amazing that way.

I might change the flow to where there were seperate stanzas, a more softer flow. But, that's just me. Bye now.

~Titus

The few. The proud. The Marines.

kj
Junior Member

since 2003-07-28

Posts 15
Australia

13 posted 2003-07-28 02:34 AM

this is awesome

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

14 posted 2003-07-28 11:45 PM

i can feel my heart breaking.......

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

15 posted 2003-07-29 06:42 AM

Good job.

Whatever happened it wont bother you forever.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell

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