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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-02-25 11:31 PM

The gravestone has become a bleached color
The words faded
Stained and streaked by my own tears.
So many of them spent here
So much of my heart bled upon the stone
Which I can never get back,
As I can never regain you.
The surroundings fit my desolation
The tree empty of leaves
All of them withered and fallen to the earth
There is no grass on the ground
Only soft dark soil,
Which seems will never grow anything beautiful
The only flowers around are the ones I brought to you
But you can't appreciate them.
I whisper words into the air
But you can't hear them,
Soft I love you's
Aching tearful I miss you's,
But you will never know how much I do.

[This message has been edited by WinterWren (02-25-2003 11:32 PM).]

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

1 posted 2003-02-26 06:05 PM

I liked this. It was a descriptive piece, and it portrayed the pain of losing someone very well. Liked the idea of the letters on the gravestone being faded by tears..... nice one!
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-02-26 08:52 PM

That's what I was aiming for, portraying that pain just right.
Thank you ever so much for your comments!!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-02-27 12:00 PM

Once again well done! You have truley expresed the pain of losing someone that you hold close to your heart. It was an achingly sweet poem and extremely touching.
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

heart_of_ice
Junior Member

since 2003-02-18

Posts 14
England

4 posted 2003-02-27 04:20 AM

beautiful....it made me cry for the first time in i don't know how long.

Fae

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

5 posted 2003-02-27 09:22 PM

Oh my God! This was sooooo incredible. I feel like this well..all the time! Lol. My favorite part was and I quote:
"I whisper words into the air
But you can't hear them,
Soft I love you's
Aching tearful I miss you's,
But you will never know how much I do."

That was awesome. Great job! I think this one is a keeper! Peace love and happiness! ~*~Kirah~*~

I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now!
Today is yesterdays tomorrow.

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