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Teen Poetry #6
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Suicide
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Suicide |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York 
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This is actually a type of memoir of a while ago... ************************************************** Death was on my mind Pain was what I was feeling Anger was stronger then life Suicide was the solution Too much was going on I didn't want to live anymore I didn't care anymore Something happened and all that anger took over Nothing would ever be the same I was looking straight into the eys of death Did it matter? Nothing did. "Did you hear the cries? The screams?" I heard nothing, I felt nothing. I wanted to die. Death was on my mind Pain was gone Anger took over my and almost killed me. ************************************************** This was about...oh a year and a half or so ago...See ya...Peace love and happiness I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now! Today is yesterdays tomorrow. [This message has been edited by WindSong (02-27-2003 10:10 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kirah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
Very touching especially since my bestfriend thought about killing herself not to long ago. thanks for the great read. ~*~Karen~*~ |
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rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
WOW! I loved this! Definatly a great write! keep up the good job! ~RuZ~ |
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
It was a great poem! and I can relate, but its a good thing you dont fell that way anymore, awesome job with expressing your feelings. * A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey * |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
ehhh...can I be honest? It came across as being very weakly written. You're aiming for strength and it's coming off as more of a slight tap. If you're wanting your imagery to pack a punch you've got to expand on original ideas. It's all well and good to explain a situation but 90% of us have been there and know what goes on. We want to see it from your perspective to an extent where we can almost put ourselves there. Well, I do anyway. Thanks for posting. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
Hey Anon...would you like me to say that I tried committing suicide infront of two best friends. Is that better for you? I like the way it's written. I'm not looking for strength of any kind. Just something to help me cope with my past...Thank you....as for everyone else, thank you all so much. I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Your critiques are on, sunshine. My comments weren't harsh so if you've got a problem with it, click that little box and turn them off. Take your hostilities elsewhere. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
I apologize for my rudeness. This week, I'm on a horrible edge. I apologize. This is a touchy topic and I'm feeling like this again...which isn't a good thing...I'm sorry...See, my aunt is basically dying and my exboyfriend..well i hate him. Sorries! ~*~Kirah~*~ PS...i forgot about those...dummy me! I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now! |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
That was awesome. I could totally feel what you were going through just by reading your poem! Keep up the good work. James Dean ;) |
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