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frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

0 posted 2003-02-23 04:16 PM

Many memories,
Now destroyed
To leave my mind totally void.

I try to shed no tears today,
As I walk over the place where I once played.
It seems as if it was all a dream
So long ago yet still with me,
A place never to be forgotten.

Karen

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

1 posted 2003-02-23 09:27 PM

What an amazing job!

"I try to shed no tears today"

I totally know how that is

"As I walk over the place where I once played.
It seems as if it was all a dream
So long ago yet still with me,
A place never to be forgotten."

I loved these lines. This poem was so simple yea so very good. I fully enjoyed it! Awesome job!

*Allison*

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

2 posted 2003-02-24 01:36 AM

Welcome to PIP!

Your debut was touchingly sentimental - I look forward to more from you.

Also, make sure to check your e-mail for a special surprise.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2003-02-24 02:15 AM

Karen~
This is a nicely penned first post,
and I enjoyed reading it.
Welcome to Passions.
I hope to see lots more from you.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

4 posted 2003-02-24 02:43 PM

Thank you all for your encouraging replies

Karen

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2003-02-24 05:13 PM

Welcome to Passions! I liked the poem. I really don't know what else to say.
Enjoy your stay here and keep posting!

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

6 posted 2003-02-24 05:18 PM

Good idea but I think it would be better if it was longer. Just my opinion, but it seems like it leaves you wanting to know more. I don't know, maybe its just me.

Jenn

think about this: everyone you know will someday die.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

7 posted 2003-02-24 08:33 PM

Nice piece I really like it.
Lauren

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