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Teen Poetry #6
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Cigarette
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Cigarette |
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SlowDrag Member
since 2002-01-10
Posts 53Tx...need i say more |
This is one of my stupid little punk/emo songs that i seem to write so many of haha (i guess being in a punk/emo band means writing those songs) it's not quite finished...*notes that he was listening to something corporate a lot jsut before writing these words...so the music is kind of in that softer but emotional style...somethin...hard to explaine..bah. "don’t expect me to cry" She said as we said goodbye. "I love you more" was all I could say as I watched her drive away.. such a sad situation… now she’s moving to College Station to be with him… Alone again… that’s the way it should be. One more cigarette for the road. Full tank and nowhere to go. The rain is coming down… my window’s rolling down. Splash the water in my face… I can’t wash my sins away. Brush my teeth and turn out the light. Tomorrow I’ve got to start my life again. Now Sarah want’s me to quit… Maybe she might be worth it… lay my defenses on the ground… I really shouldn’t let my guard down. But she’s got a pretty face… her mind is lost in space… and I would be right beside her.. But I lost myself inside her eyes. One last cigarette for the road… Low on gas I’ve got somewhere to go. The sun is coming out… My window’s halfway down and the wind is blowing in my face no need to blow my sins away. Finally things are feeling right… Maybe I should start living life again. and all i wanna do is be there for the things you're going through....well is it good for you?...is it good for you? |
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AJMGW Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57Galaxy Roller Rink |
I think that we all should start over at times. When things get out of our hands we need to stop. There are bumps in the road, and usually there is a warning sign. Life's warning signs are not very obvious. Well you said it better than me so good job. ^*~AJMGW~*^ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nothing stupid about this one... please keep writing regards, sudhir |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Eric, this is wonderfully written, sweet friend, I too think we need to reform every now and then as it is best to turn around when you feel unhappy where you are going! (sigh) Well done, sweet friend, I would love to hear this put to music, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eric, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
this is cool and not at all stupid. thanks for the read. Jenn think about this: everyone you know will someday die. |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
This was awesome. Way to go. This was definitely not stupid. A lot of the stuff I write is also very emo/punk sounding. And Something Corporate is one of the greatest bands. Keep it up. -Erin All You Can Ever Learn Is What You Already Know |
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SlowDrag Member
since 2002-01-10
Posts 53Tx...need i say more |
yeah, thanks a lot. I really don't think it's stupid...i always say something like that about everything i write. haha i actually like this probably more than any other song i've written simply because it feels more personal than the stuff i usually write. hah i recently got cheated on (and broke up with for the first time...odd never had a girlfriend break up with me before..i'm usually the one to end the relationship haha) so this song is how i'm coping with it all haha. anyway thanks for the reply's...keep them up and i'll keep postin my songs |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
I picked out my favorite lines. Waaaay cool if you ask me. *s "...One more cigarette for the road. my window’s rolling down. Splash the water in my face… I can’t wash my sins away. But she’s got a pretty face… her mind is lost in space… My window’s halfway down and the wind is blowing in my face no need to blow my sins away...." When you think you have heard it all, |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
good stuff *thumbs up* something corporate is neato, especially live. your writing flavor is kinda punkish, but hey, do what makes you happy, right? i don't think this is crap, i think it's quite cool. it'd be interesting to hear people sing it and whatnot. thanks for sharing. oh, the chorus-y part was my favorite (if you were wonderin lol) -bergundy- "crack my head open, on your kitchen floor. to prove to you, that i have brains." -Alkaline Trio |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Great job! that would be an excellent song if that is what you would turn it into, I would listen to it!(which really isn't saying much actually!!) But I enjoyed it very much! ~Live and Laugh~ People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
As long as it wasn't rap you got me sold on it! I enjoyed your name and the title of the song together, very funny! You did a great song here and it sure gets my vote. |
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gummidemilo New Member
since 2003-02-25
Posts 9 |
Interestingly enough, the girl to whom my poem "February Skies" was written went away to college station, so this speaks to me in a way. good job. |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
this is beautifully written  Vote in!~Every girl has a dream within. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I can see this as a pop song  |
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PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA |
I liked this one...alot! good work! It definitely isn't stupid, plus emo rocks! XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Everything I have to say...has been taken  Well, at least you know I like it..and you definitely have my vote Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Way cool write..much enjoyed! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i liked this alot, crazy good write. awesome thoughts everything, definalty not stupid, keep writing. Regina "heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Nice job on this, Eric. It definitely reads like a song, and I enjoyed. I'll be watching for more from you. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
I absolutely love this poem. I could visualize as I read. I think it's one of the best I've read so far. Thanks for the great read!  ~J.Lynn  "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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Silent~Inspirations Junior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 13 |
I loved this. It was really great and i think that if you write more songs like that you could make good money one day.(sorry if I offended you by that comment. Some people dont believe in art for money) |
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Echo Junior Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 14the abyss |
wow, i think this is absolutely beautiful, and i love it. wish i could hear the notes!  gj! |
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Hevnlyfoxy Junior Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 10NYC, NY |
this poem was so vivid..Loved it!! The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in a love story, It changes the relationships of two people much more strongly than even t |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
A splendid write. I agree, there is nothing stupid about this at all. Enjoyed the read. |
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AJMGW Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57Galaxy Roller Rink |
 thought it was a beautiful poem. not sure it should really be a song well good job again. Melissa  |
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