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Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

0 posted 2003-02-10 09:58 PM

~*~Broken~*~

Silent tears,
stream from my eyes,
all because of,
a broken heart.
Soft spoken,
words from your mouth,
nothing more,
then broken promises.
Fake smiles,
spread across my face,
all because of,
a broken friendship.
Shattered memories,
of you and me,
yet nothing more,
then another broken heart.

~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~
[This message has been edited by Erin (02-10-2003 09:59 PM).]

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2003-02-11 07:48 AM

Hey Erin. Nice work here, I really felt this. For once in my life I feel I might end up without a broken heart and it's strange as such I've always had broken relationships. I wish you luck.

Jenn

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

2 posted 2003-02-11 06:50 PM

Erin:

Heartfelt, lachrymose poem.

You capture human emotions well here. Good for you.
I find that the hardest and most painful thing when something breaks is the silence before it shatters, not the silence after.

Keep writing.

Leah

And so we see the inner makings of your existence.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-02-11 08:14 PM

Wow, this one really hit me. Alot.
I especially liked the line, "Shattered memories of you and me."
Great job!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2003-02-15 06:03 PM

Erin, Erin, Erin..... it's

JAILBAIT!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

We really must talk, sometime soon.

This poem was superb. So very, very heartfelt. It's a soft, overpowering wave of sadness, shattered love, and aching souls.... with great flow, and length. What poetry should be.

Hope we talk soon.

Sincerely,
Titus

Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2003-02-15 06:04 PM

Submit this for the book!

~Titus

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

6 posted 2003-02-16 12:42 PM

great poem.

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

7 posted 2003-02-16 05:09 PM

I'm a new member, so this is my very first time replying to a poem. I really liked this one, it was real deep. It would've been nice if I knew about this poem 4 months ago. A "friend" and I were going thru something, and this really explains how i felt at the time.
nice job.

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

8 posted 2003-02-18 03:13 AM

Thank u all for taking the time out to read and reply to my poem. It really means alot to me.

Specially hearing from Jen and my Jailbait!!! I hope to hear from u guys alot more!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2003-02-20 08:10 PM

Erin~
I really like this one a lot.
You've expressed the feelings very well,
I felt this deeply as I read.
I always enjoy reading your work and I'll be looking for more.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

AJMGW
Member

since 2002-11-19

Posts 57
Galaxy Roller Rink

10 posted 2003-02-21 12:39 PM

It's short and sweet and
has so much heart in it.
Love it!
Melissa

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