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Teen Poetry #6
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ShadyMakaveli
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128


0 posted 2003-02-07 04:32 PM



Tears falling freely to the ground
Unable to hold the pain in any longer
Tryin hard to not make a sound
Cause it's clear I'm on my own
As I look up to see no one around

Need to be independently strong
Could I rely on someone else?
Don't know if i'm right or wrong
But it's hard to let go and trust
Not even knowing if i really belong

Could anyone even understand me?
The feelings that run deep within
Even I'm scared of what i'd see
Constant never ending inner battles
Only wanting to finally be free

Get rid of this troubled soul
To enjoy my time here on earth
And get back everything life stole
On the edge of an amazing life
To be happy is my only goal

© Copyright 2003 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved
Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
1 posted 2003-02-08 01:02 PM


Being happy is a good goal Liked this
EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK
2 posted 2003-02-08 06:08 PM


There's a sort of disjointed rhyming here.... it works well. I think this is a good poem. I've only got one suggestion for improvement, and that is to change "cause" to "because". Maybe it's just me that doesn't like Cause? *Shrug* Oh well. Great write anyways dude.
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
3 posted 2003-02-08 08:51 PM


great poem!

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~


dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

4 posted 2003-02-08 10:15 PM


hey,
this was awesome!!
good write
~sam~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

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