The O'Keefe (revision) - pipTalk Forums

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Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2002-09-30 01:02 AM

The O’Keefe

Georgia would have loved you, as I did.
From afar
you sang color,
bright and simple.
“Beautiful!” they would say,
then move on.
But not everyone,
not me.
I moved closer
to your revealing.
A masterpiece of intricacy,
delicacy.
A walking gallery,
(I used to watch them pause
to take you in.)
Some clumsily stumbling into your velvet ropes,
only to be turned away.
I wouldn’t turn,
I couldn’t.
I sat and stared at your every line,
your curves tracing through oil and my heart.

Freezing me while canvas melted into glass.

And as a mirror pulling at my insecurities;

I saw myself in you.

[This message has been edited by Kevin (09-30-2002 04:35 PM).]

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

1 posted 2002-09-30 08:23 AM

This is so lovley Kevin, such beautiful sentiments expressed in an eloquent way. Anway I love Georgia O'Keffe, the lillies she does are amazing!

Anya

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2002-09-30 03:22 PM

This is one of my favorites of yours, Kevin. You've captured something very abstract in a way that's really appealing..and personal..I love the style you've written it in. Just perfect for my current mood. Thanks for sharing it.

~Carly

"My own eyes are not enough for me; I will see through a thousand and yet remain myself..."
~C.S. Lewis

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-09-30 04:06 PM

I'm with Carly, this was fluid and extremely well-written.  Your style is expressive, yet complex and understandable.  I like how you described those who would come by and have nowhere near the experience that you had.

Also, I have to mention that I really liked what you did with the last few lines.  Breaking them up into several, stand-alone lines was a great idea.  It finalizes the piece so nicely and empasizes each one of them as an independent, and equally important, factor in this poem.

Bravo.  I truly enjoyed this piece.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

4 posted 2002-09-30 09:07 PM

This is good, but it is totally different than your other O'keefe poem, so is it really a revision, or a continuation?

~Lisa

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

5 posted 2002-09-30 10:30 PM

i really liked this. it is a beautiful poem. anya my favorite is ladder to the sky...kevin...i am still in love with u. will u marry me? lol

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