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Teen Poetry #6

Vanity Plea

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-06-08 07:13 PM

Spiraling down into a world of the unknown,
Pain seeping from every bone.
Come take me back home,
Back to the things I’ve come love and need.

Twisting down through the mud,
Everything, including my blood,
Got swept away in that flood,
That took everything in its greed.

Whirling face down in a vortex of pain,
And at the center is like a drain,
Where souls of all those slain,
Wait their turn to go feed.

Tumbling head over heel,
Toward becoming Death’s meal,
I guess it no longer matters how I feel,
It’s only futile to try to plead…

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

1 posted 2003-06-08 10:41 PM

l like, sg, though the endings a little awkward... maybe you should try saying the same thing in a slightly different way.
then again, it could just be me.
laurie.

LegalSecret69
Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 69
Virginia

2 posted 2003-06-09 05:15 PM

This showed alot of anger....or so I thought. But overall, it was good...

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