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Teen Poetry #6
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Im Coming
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Im Coming |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Every day i see you, Sitting in the corner of the bathroom against the wall. Legs curled to your stomach, Tears from your eyes slowly fall. You stare off blankly into space, Acting as if no one were there. I wanna talk to you, But im too scared. Scared of how much resemblance i see of me in you, And that just maybe those tears are contagious. I stand there and watch u out of the corner of my eye, Waiting patiently, and so anxious. You wait so patiently for each moment, Each moment to pass you by. You sit there and wish your life away, In every tear you cry. I left the bathroom a while ago, Came downstairs to gather my thoughts in my mind. But dont worry it'll be ok, I know as long as your here you'll be fine. Wait right there,Im coming. I decided its what i need to do. I need to atleast reach out my hand, And see if i can help you... I'm coming... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
What an ending, Shugah.  A very emotional, tense piece, with a great ending. The meter, I admit, stumbled a bit, but I don't think that was what concerned you. Spilling out your emotion as you do so clearly here might have been.Good to see you posting. I've missed ya. ~Titus Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Hey ti i've missed u too Ur right i jus wanted to get it all out...i was standing in the bathroom with that girl leaning againts the wall and i rushed downstairs to get all my thoughts out and then as i was writing i decided i needed to go back up so i rushed back up but she wasnt there..she worries me..i'll try and talk to her tomorrow...Standing on the edge of the world |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I hope it goes well, Shugah.  Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow, great write, very emotional with strong imagery, thanks for sharing it with us Andrew |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Hey zu thanks for the reply Standing on the edge of the world |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I don't know what it is about your writing that always manages to touch me....I'm waiting for someone too...  --Elizabeth You can sit there and forgive someone until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference until they forgive themselves. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
well im really happy that i can touch you with my poetry Thank you for taking the time to read this Standing on the edge of the world |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I love this poem! It is so touching. I especially like the line, " you sit there and wish your life away in every tear you cry." Very powerful. Every time you help someone else out, you help yourself alittle more. I don't know you but Im proud of you for wanting to help this girl. I hope you get the chance to talk to her. WinterWren |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Oh and I hope this girl is ok, let us know how things go with her will you?  --Elizabeth You can sit there and forgive someone until the cows come home, and it won't make a bit of difference until they forgive themselves. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Consider me touched in the very bottom of my heart. Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Im so happy that so many people liked this. I havent been writing really and this was a write-as-i-go piece that i didnt really expect to get this much great feedback from Today i actually saw the girl again, she was sitting in the bathroom a different period than i normally see her and i tried talking to her but all i got out of her was shruggs and nods...Its ok b/c she agreed to see the school social worker who of course after leaving the girl in the bathroom and having her promise to stay put wasnt even there...so i ended up telling my guidance counselor. I dont know what the turn out what but i hope she kept her word and i hope they were able to talk to her. Standing on the edge of the world |
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