Teen Poetry #6 |
Those Three Magic Words |
Susie Junior Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 36Illinois |
I was told those three magic words, Those words that make you feel so true, Those three magic words, "I love you!" When those words were said to me, My heart almost stopped. I was so thrilled, My mouth dropped. I could've fainted, I didn't know he felt this way. My mind went blank, I did not know what to say. A smile cracked on my face, I never felt so happy before. I didn't want this feeling to go, I wanted him to say more. But this happiness did not last long, Just for that one split second Right before he said those three next words, "As a friend." |
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© Copyright 2003 Susie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Eightfold New Member
since 2002-10-31
Posts 5 |
Very nicely done. I was felt your happiness throughout the poem. And the ending actually made me sad. You not only captured my full attention, but my full emotion as well. Good job. |
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Darkness Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies. |
OUCH! that sucks I used to get that all the time. It made me feel so bad... so ugly. Like nobody could ever love me. But enough of my whinning! This was good I really enjoyed it. You presented you feelings very well in this piece. You gave the impression of overwhelming happiness from three little words. Then in the last stanza it was all sucked away by three more words. Awesome, keep writing!!! Darkness |
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Cinderelly Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189NM, USA |
Great poem! I could feel you happiness through the poem and then at the end, the air hiss out of your ballon . . . Love sucks sometimes but again great poem! |
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AJMGW Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57Galaxy Roller Rink |
Oh! I've been there. It sucks when that happens. The poem was awesome!! I want to hear more! AJMGW |
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Victoria7 Junior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 21 |
o liked your poem, i can easily relate to it. |
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P.R.C Junior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 40Hull, England |
Happened to me the other day, felt really horrible i just wanted to cry |
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moonguardian2004 Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64MA, USA |
hey i loved your poem. it had alot of anticipation towards the end. i guess i am on the other end of the stick. i have a guy that loves me more than anything and i have to tell him that i love him as a friend. sometimes love in a friendship is greater than you think. great write! |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Omg what an awesome poem. It was such a suprise a the end to see "as a friend"...i didnt expect that at all..im sorry about the way that it turned out for you though Standing on the edge of the world |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Susie~ This is a real 'ouch' poem. You've done a great job of playing it out all the way to the end and then slapping the reader with a surprise ending. Wonderfully done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
This was a really good poem, so sweet. I mean you could sense happiness all throughout this poem. Then the end goes and turns the whole thing around. ~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~ |
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