Those Three Magic Words - pipTalk Forums

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Susie
Junior Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 36
Illinois

0 posted 2003-01-29 08:20 AM

I was told those three magic words,
Those words that make you feel so true,
Those three magic words,
"I love you!"

When those words were said to me,
My heart almost stopped.
I was so thrilled,
My mouth dropped.

I could've fainted,
I didn't know he felt this way.
My mind went blank,
I did not know what to say.

A smile cracked on my face,
I never felt so happy before.
I didn't want this feeling to go,
I wanted him to say more.

But this happiness did not last long,
Just for that one split second
Right before he said those three next words,
"As a friend."

Eightfold
New Member

since 2002-10-31

Posts 5

1 posted 2003-01-29 09:51 AM

Very nicely done. I was felt your happiness throughout the poem. And the ending actually made me sad. You not only captured my full attention, but my full emotion as well. Good job.

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

2 posted 2003-01-29 12:03 PM

OUCH! that sucks I used to get that all the time. It made me feel so bad... so ugly. Like nobody could ever love me.

But enough of my whinning!

This was good I really enjoyed it.
You presented you feelings very well in this piece. You gave the impression of overwhelming happiness from three little words. Then in the last stanza it was all sucked away by three more words.

Awesome, keep writing!!!

Darkness

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

3 posted 2003-01-29 11:52 PM

Great poem! I could feel you happiness through the poem and then at the end, the air hiss out of your ballon . . . Love sucks sometimes but again great poem!

AJMGW
Member

since 2002-11-19

Posts 57
Galaxy Roller Rink

4 posted 2003-01-30 12:16 PM

Oh! I've been there. It sucks when that happens. The poem was awesome!! I want to hear more!

AJMGW

Victoria7
Junior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 21

5 posted 2003-01-30 03:54 PM

o liked your poem, i can easily relate to it.

P.R.C
Junior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 40
Hull, England

6 posted 2003-01-31 04:40 PM

Happened to me the other day, felt really horrible i just wanted to cry

moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

7 posted 2003-02-02 09:25 PM

hey i loved your poem. it had alot of anticipation towards the end. i guess i am on the other end of the stick. i have a guy that loves me more than anything and i have to tell him that i love him as a friend. sometimes love in a friendship is greater than you think.

great write!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2003-02-04 01:58 PM

Omg what an awesome poem. It was such a suprise a the end to see "as a friend"...i didnt expect that at all..im sorry about the way that it turned out for you though

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2003-02-09 01:35 AM

Susie~
This is a real 'ouch' poem.
You've done a great job of playing it out
all the way to the end and then slapping
the reader with a surprise ending.
Wonderfully done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

10 posted 2003-02-09 02:05 AM

This was a really good poem, so sweet. I mean you could sense happiness all throughout this poem. Then the end goes and turns the whole thing around.

~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~

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