Teen Poetry #6 |
Discover me |
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
Between the span of my gentle hannds, lives a stranger. Beyond my "pretty eyes" theres a mystery unfolding. A mystery you've come too close to solving. If you run fast enough you can catch a ride. Let your feelings be your guide, your fear become your light. Discover me.. Beyond the standard glance, is the look of love, waiting. Uncover the unseen. The image beneathe is captivating. Find the real me. Between the the black and white, I've drwan a silver line, follow it through and you'll find me. Solve the puzzle. Complete me. Uncover me. |
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© Copyright 2003 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Wlcome to passions!! This was really good for a first write. You have a lot of natural talent! Continue writing, I hope to read more from you! People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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jennilynn Junior Member
since 2002-11-11
Posts 29here with me |
good first post. thats all I have to say for now. -jen- |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Hello, welcome to Passions, this was a really good first post, it is quite promising. I hope to read more from you in the near future!! ^*~Kim~*^ |
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Darkness Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies. |
Hi there... Welcome to this... place of... WONDER!!! yeah that's it... wonder. This was a good first post and I hope for nothing but good for you in the future. WELCOME TO PASSIONS! The ghost and devil will protect you from evil. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
WELCOME! Having fun yet? A good write here. I liked what you wre trying to say. I might fromat it a bit different, and maybe, just maybe, work on the meter (flow, rhyme, etc) of the poem. I notced you had soem lines twice as long as the subsequent lines.... I generally find that distracting from the poem, because it doesn't allow the poem to just flow off of my mind's tongue. You know? "Between the span of my gentle hannds, lives a stranger. Beyond my "pretty eyes" theres a mystery unfolding. A mystery you've come too too* close to solving. If you run fast enough you can catch a ride. Let your feelings be your guide, the* fear become your light. Discover me.. Beyond the standard glance, is the look of love, waiting. Uncover the unseen. The image beneathe is fully* captivating. Find the real me. Between the* black and white* I've drawn* a silver line, follow it through and you'll find me. Solve the puzzle. Complete me. Uncover me." I really enjoyed the poem. Those are just some thoughts of mine. Hope you enjoyed them. It not, it's totally cool. ~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. |
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