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Teen Poetry #6
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Shining Light
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Shining Light |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Shining Light (Working title) O hail the morning star rising o'er hill and dales lighting up the misty vales piercing shadows where evil quails turning foe when all else fails O hail the morning star O hail the rising sun banisher of night's black cloak it's tender fingers warm the oak bringing heart to weary folk that in the light may tell a joke O hail the rising sun O hail the bright new dawn it's warm rays on the misty field where none will flee and none will yield side by side and shield by shield for with the light their fate is sealed O hail the bright new dawn ------- Andrew |
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| © Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
um. I must say, I am very impressed. This must be one of my favorites by you.  I loved the imagery, and you even added one of my favorite words: vales... I was most pleased. Thank you.Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Aight... I like this one muchly. Your rhyming works, and the flow works too, which is definitely a good thing. I'm not totally down with the title, I think that you could come up with something that better reflects the poem, but it's your baby, do as you please (  ). I too like the imagery that you present here. It just... works. Anywho I'm off now to cause more chaos and havoc than I have in a long time (yes, I'm going to my sisters lol). I want you to sit down and write more stuff like this, cause I really do like it. Lata |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
*drools* Andrew, this is amazing. Talk about visual stimulation! The images you've described here are truly magical and not only shroud the piece in a beautiful tranquility, it heightens the admirable rhyme scheme. I suck at rhyming so I'm always envious of others than can. I love it. It's wonderful - be proud. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
*speechless*  If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thank you for all of your replies everyone, they are much appreciated Andrew |
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