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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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charades |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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You climb my eye to crown the world I see, you bring my eyes to me. 'Til further 'neath me, deeper than A million depths of Earth, you flee. An ocean one, or two, or three Could never quench your thirsty song But if it ever threatens me I lift my open hand - you're gone. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (01-22-2003 08:28 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
well i did enjoy your poem.but i dont know what object you are writing about, i thought maybe dirt or water but im probaly very off Regina [This message has been edited by Ina (01-22-2003 05:41 PM).] |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
I liked this poem. Verrry eloquent and descriptive. Is it about dry skin? Just a thought! Ellie  "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma" |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Well, I can't say I can name the topic, I guess I'm not that special..  .... LOL. I really liked this, it was great! *~Rich~* Too strong to give up, to weak to move on.... |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
I'm liking this a lot, Brian.  I only came up with one idea as I was reading, so my guess is that it's a tear or tears. Am I even close? LOL. Nicely done, Brian. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (01-23-2003 02:15 AM).] |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*is thinking* *is still thinking* Hmm.... I'll be back to this one. ~Titus Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Like the others i like this, you said a lot in this, and i too am stumped as to what this could be. Haven't seen anything from you in awhile, where u been hiding? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hmmm - this is good to read whilst listening to VNV Nation.  This had me puzzled, Brian. After reading it a few times my conclusion isn't concrete but it comes across as either tears or blood. I'm leaning more towards tears but then again, I could be wrong. Either way, you've written quite a mind stimulating piece. Well done. Hurry up and reveal the answer, ok?  ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not tears... not even close. Every line of this is a big hint. Carly got it when I told her to actually visualize what I was describing... maybe that will help? I honestly thought this was too obvious when I posted it. Guess I was wrong. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I came in just to read your rhymes. Will take a post from you when ever I can get me mothy hands on them. I will take a guess and say the Sun? (or could even be moon) I was reborn on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
JM got it right. But that's not fair because she's not a teen. It's alright. Way to go JM  |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
This was so good. As I usually say..Why can`t I write at your level..I`ve been writing since I was in 4th grade! Maybe I`m slow? LOL Good one! *Allison* "O My love |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
wow, i liked this, i wish it was longer, but its awesum the way it is. great write.  If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Dude. ~Titus Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ohhh - now I see it.  "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
That's beautiful. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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