Deeper - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-01-20 10:13 PM

Into her soul she retreats
Deeper and deeper
She searches desperately for solace
She'll find no comfort in all this coldness.
Too many words spoken harshly in anger
Too many words spoken quickly in pain.
There is no "Im sorry" uttered
Though it is felt through all the pain.
It's remembered tomorrow,
Never to be spoken of again.
And her sorrow settles deeper,
Veiling the sun so it can't reach her.
She wishes she could cry again
But she ran out of tears long ago
She's just a shadow of herself
Fading in this light.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

1 posted 2003-01-21 12:08 PM

Smashing. A deeply sad, emotional write.

No critiques comes to mind at all... nice length, nice flow/meter... it was a goodly write.

If this is reality, then it's felt even more.

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-01-21 12:13 PM

Yes, *sigh* this is reality. Thank you so much for the reply, it is greatly appreciated.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

3 posted 2003-01-21 12:14 PM

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

4 posted 2003-01-21 09:15 PM

I liked this. I liked the last three to four lines the most....I'm not sure of the line numbers but it starts off and I quote "Veiling...." I loved from that point on. I feel like that...a lot of my life. Especially with such a dark past from my father. I'm glad you liked my Walking on Air poem, that song is on right now. This was a great piece! I loved it! Ttyl bye! ~*~Kirah~*~

*Mistakes are made, you pay for them, then you do it again.*
~*~Love doesn't make the world go 'round, it just makes the ride worthwhile~*~

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

5 posted 2003-01-21 09:47 PM

"Veiling the sun so it can't reach her.
She wishes she could cry again
But she ran out of tears long ago
She's just a shadow of herself
Fading in this light."

good lines

CATHY

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

6 posted 2003-01-22 07:08 PM

Beulatiful.  Exquisite.
A true work of art.
Sad.
Deep.
Heart-felt
Ironic

All of the above describe your poem, and yet the only coherent thought my spinning mind can form is,"Wow..."  Well Done!

                                                          *~Rich~*

Too strong to give up, to weak to move on....

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

7 posted 2003-01-22 11:09 PM

Thats probably the best reply you've ever given one of my poems! Thank you so much.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.