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StellarChica
Member

since 2002-07-06

Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2003-01-16 09:22 PM

This one's not really very good. Just a vent of my current feelings.

______________________

My head leans against a fogged up bus window,
Pensively looking out at the roadside attractions.
You're sitting a few seats away from me,
Doing almost the exact same thing.
Only,
You look happy.
I hate the fact that you like her,
And not me.
I can't blame you,
She's pretty,
And one of my closest friends.
It's just that: For the past year I've fantasized about being with you.
And what it would be like.
I can really see myself with you,
It's such a shame that I didn't start talking to you,
Until after you met her,
I'm so stupid.
If only I had been there that night,
Maybe then you'd wanna be with me,
Maybe then I'd be happier.
But for now I guess I can only let it go.
[Pssst.....I like you a lot.]

_____________________________________

That was actually really lame. I just didn't feel like putting a whole lot of creative thought into this. Just wanted to vent.

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

1 posted 2003-01-17 11:15 PM

Good vent! for you and the rest of the girls here...i liked it.

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2003-01-18 02:31 PM

For the vent you wanted it to be, it was a good one. Poetry is an extremely valuable tool for venting.... I'm glad you had it to use.

I hope you are truly able to let go, and focus on yourself.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

3 posted 2003-01-18 07:15 PM

I think that with some line breaks and such it could be just fine. Poems don't have to be fancy or chocked full of metaphors that not even the author understands.... they just have to be honest.

It's honest and it's something anyone could identify with.

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (01-18-2003 07:16 PM).]

topsyturveychick
Member

since 2003-01-19

Posts 57
Bris,QLD,Aus

4 posted 2003-01-19 04:07 AM

Hey I really like ur poem. It gets everything down. And it's easy to follow and u don't really have to think about it because it's all there infront of u and explained very well.

**Topsy**

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

5 posted 2003-01-19 05:40 PM

Mmm.... I remember many bus rides like that. *hugs* Good vent hun

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