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Teen Poetry #6
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Weight on my shoulders growing.. (an attempt to not rhyme)
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Weight on my shoulders growing.. (an attempt to not rhyme) |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Weight on my shoulders growing Feeling the pressures of the world Is there no one who understands me? Appears that I am on my own Can't explain these haunting feelings All I ever wanted was happiness Seems that is too much to ask for In a cold world without helping hands Why am I so quick to care for others? Only leads to me being hurt in the end No one would do for me what I would for them Don't want to believe this, left with no choice Recent events have created these new ideals Deceived, Blinded or Flat out dumb One of these I am, but wish I wasn't It's lead to these unbearable feelings I possess Introspection becoming more useless Answers are lost never to be found At least that's the impression I have In my my quest for self-awareness Appears that I am on my own Is there no one who understands me Feeling the pressures of this world Weight on my shoulders growing.........Does anyone even Care? |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, this was realllly good! was this ur first time attempting not to rhyme??? cuz this was really good and a change from ur other poems!! good write! ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I really enjoyed this poem. it was beuatifully written. i care. if u ever need to talk. regina keep your head held high |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
That was a wonderful poem! Beautiful! Great! I especialy liked the line, "All I ever wanted was happiness." Wow! I loved this sooo much! And I care, I always care, if ever you just need someone to vent at Im here, you can email me, I won't bite I promise.  WinterWren |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Thanx for the responses, this is my second attempt at a poem that didn't rhyme, the last one i did a long time ago and it didn't work too good, i'm glad u 3 liked it, thanx once again for the responses, anyone else care to comment? |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
I liked the last bit "Does anyone care at all?" It seemed to sum up the poem. I liked this, it made a good departure from rhyming. Well done Kyle! Ellie  "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma" |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Great Job.....I shall have to attempt to rhyme for I do not, but at any rate this was good for only ur second free verse , good job job job job job ( and yes I am bored so I am typing job a million times  )Riley Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you...... |
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