Teen Poetry #6 |
Face First To Fire |
OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
This wasn't made to rhyme and I'm not even sure it makes sense... it's not supposed to be violent or anything so don't freak out at the "watching myself bleed" because it's nothing like that.. it's figurative of knowing my own pain as someone watching outside of me... just so you know, because I know that's against the guidelines here and all. Falling face first to fire The longer I fell I knew the blazes Were existence of hell. It's everything you dream When you close your eyes it's what you see I'ts what you hope to see when you open them Lacking the will to make it real Numb to the world surrounding You're lucky you've forgotten how to feel And forgiveness leads to darkness I can't forgive myself in this light Convincing myself to let go Of the things that keep me breathing Breaking so slowly, held together by one Strand of hope that is him Realizing he's nothing more Than the one I imagine holding me When I despise of the blood in my veins. Losing him I lose the hold And I realize that him I need This pain watching myself bleed... |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
This is an excellent poem, maybe one of my favorites out of yours. Poetry doesn't always have to rhyme, mine rarely does. I really LOVED this poem! Especially the lines, "Lacking the will to make it real." And, "You're lucky you've forgotten how to feel." GREAT work, keep it up. WinterWren |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
Thanks! It's really a bunch of random things that I thought of and decided to stick together... That's one thing I've learned- random quotes should be written down as soon as they come to mind. |
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ButterflyInReverse New Member
since 2002-12-20
Posts 3 |
hey...you can really feel the emotion coming through in this poem...nice write, thought it deserved to be bumped...soooooo *BUMP* |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
this was really good most of my poems rhyme cuz if they dont i feel strange but when i read ones that dont,i cant even notice it so even tho it didnt rhyme it still fit together nicely good job! ###CATHY### "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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LTEvans Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72Lenham, England |
I liked this; as you say random thoughts should be written down straight away, however try not to shout them aloud. You get some very strange looks and mothers drag their children away from you... Really. Solipsism saves us from the atavism of the Equalitarian. |
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