Teen Poetry #6 |
Prison cell |
Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
Left out, Locked out, Chained to the wall, Apart from the rest, But is it my fault? Darkness, Shadows, My only friends, Just like the rest, When it comes to the end. Why me? Why now? Why feel locked out? Why try? Why not? I've got to get out... Love conquers all, so I must be in a losing battle. |
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© Copyright 2002 Bryan Nascak - All Rights Reserved | |||
CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
This is a very good poem. I feel the desperation in the words. Well written. |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
I loved it. It's what I want to say, put perfectly. I don't think it could have been any better and I really really really like the idea and how you portrayed it. Nice job. The title I think could be better just because Prison Cell seems too easy... just a suggestion of course. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I think that's the first one I've read of yours that isn't a love poem. I really liked it alot! alot alot. very good. wonderful. well expressed. Beautiful. powerful...need I continue? WinterWren |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
*tip toes through* I forgot to put it in my library. |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Well, I must say, this is an interesting, departure, from your usual poems. lol. I thought it was very good, though if you'd answered the phone yesterday and come to the party with us, you'd not have been able to write it. Hmm.... I wonder which is better... lol. It'a great poem, so it's probably for the best! Later! "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
This is good. I like it a lot. Nice job...~*~Me~*~ ~Loving you isn't the problem, getting too close is.~ |
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