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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Mine |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Raspberries And candy necklaces All of life's presents Wrapped in one package Together- We nibble at each other's neck And blow raspberries Across our skin Hugging and kissing And screaming our way Through life. Thoughtless vengeance Has found it's way out And is seeping through the holes I left in the world Patchwork quilt But unfinished So many more stitches But no thread remains Nothing left to sew. Together- I make the world mine And gift-wrap it for you. Thoughtless vengeance Has fought its battles And is seeping through the holes I have left in the world. "You're the center of adrenaline And I'm beginning to understand You could be the best thing about me." -SG |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
quote: All I can say about this poem is... it is a work of true skill. Don't worry about whether or not I'm being honest, as you expressed in an earlier response to one of my replies. I would never say anything unless I really meant it.  This is one of my favourite poems from you, especially the repeated stanza that I quoted above. Reading that just made me pause and read it again, and think about it... That is some really good imagery... "the holes I left in the world." Superb. I've also noticed a prevailant theme of candy in your poetry as of late. It's nice to see you writing with a common theme running through a lot of your writing, I think that's really cool... it's like something I'd expect to see in a compilation, should you ever create one. An entire section about gumdrops and chocolate chips and whatnot.  Great writing, as usual. I'm left with nothing to do but grin and add this to my library. Plus, I'm going to stop expecting an email from you.  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I have limited time right now... so I'll reply to your reply later... But I swear I sent you an email two or three days ago.... I'll try again. "You're the center of adrenaline And I'm beginning to understand You could be the best thing about me." -SG |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Hmmm.. so you're one of those 'honest' people? Ok. They're aren't enough people like me, I mean, like that, in this world... I, however, am also one of those people who believes that they will never be good enough, and I tend to lend this quality to my poetry and my judgement of my poetry. hmmm... Have to go eat now... bye. "You're the center of adrenaline And I'm beginning to understand You could be the best thing about me." -SG |
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