Teen Poetry #6 |
Gone Away |
OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
Wowwww this is baddddddd. I do not usually write stuff that doesn't rhyme not because I try it just happens that way, but this didn't sooo... just please don't be too terribly harsh. Wait no actually, be honest. Gone away andgone astray When will you come back, my love? Away to nowhere you have gone. When will you return? I wish you'd never left me, dear. Promises are lost. You said you'd stay forever, You promised to be there And you promised to be here. I wanted you to hold me, As you always said you would. I wanted you to kiss me As before you never could. You promised you would have me, That I could have you in return. But now I'm left alone. All these broken promises Leave me all alone... Forever all alone. Yuck. Oh well. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
And what's wrong with not rhyming? I hardly ever do, it doesn't have to ryhm(I hate that word) to be a poem. And quit being so hard on yourself this was a very good poem, and as usual with most of yours, I liked it alot. WinterWren |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
I liked it too. Like WinterWren said, it doesnt have to rhyme to be a poem. I hate the word "rhyme" too. It sucks because there are few words that rhyme with it. Isn't that ironic? Actually, upon futher review, there are plenty of words that rhyme with "rhyme," but they are no good. Bah, I'm rambling. Somebody make me shut up.... -Stinky Twinkie- |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
haha i didn't say it has to rhyme i just said its one of very few of mine that doesn't... so it's new to me. I like poems that don't rhyme i just always have trouble writing them. As far as the word, I hate that "h" they threw in there. Many a spelling test I failed for that. Don't shut up stinky twinkie you are quite humerous. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Cassi~ Rhyming or not, I like this. I'm enjoying reading your poetry. You have talent and it shows. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (12-28-2002 12:46 AM).] |
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