Teen Poetry #6 |
Crazy and Alone |
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Purple painted fingernails tap on the window glass shattered in her mind it appears unbroken She kisses the doorknobs pulls the screen door shut, runs out to the car closes her eyes. She carries her umbrella on a sunshiney day says the rain could come at any minute it might just wash everything. Gone. Same old drumbeat stuck on repeat in her head her hiccups disrupt the rhythm but she won't drink water. If she saves herself it will make him happy He'll keep her in a jar and she'll think she's happy. Same old problems she runs from her emotions hides in the closet and waits for everything to be Gone. She just wants to belong just wants to be happy. Can you make her happy? It would be an easy task if you would only try. She just want to be loved just wants to be made happy. Can you make her happy? Could you try? Can you make her happy? Same old problems she runs from some strange outcome finds its way back in same old fear resurfaces again some crazy way of thinking returns she just wants to be happy.. she just wants to be gone. Leave her alone the crazy runs through her veins one day she'll run away and that might make you happy. She makes herself happy by pleasing you. Silence surrounds the dark shadows of her eyes she looks deeper into your soul. Crazy and alone she sings this song repeat and start over.. she just wants to be happy. "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo [This message has been edited by Allysa (12-20-2002 02:38 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
LTEvans Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72Lenham, England |
Nice poem. Are you a nirvana fan by any chance. Solipsism saves us from the atavism of the Equalitarian. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Yes, and anyone who is a Nirvana fan can tell that this is highly influence by Kurt's lyrics.... (Sappy in particular... though I was reading through three or four songs at the time.) Why? I did not like the original format, so I changed it. "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not bad, Allysa. I admit some of the content felt a bit empty for me, probably because it lacks a lot of your creative style... all the killer lines we usually see in an Allysa poem are few and far between in this one, which made it a bit frowning for me to read. I like the opening stanza very much, though... very nice lead into the poem. I'd strengthen the meat and butter the bread a little, though. Parasite It's amazing the effect ice can have on the world. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Allysa~ I really like this one a lot. I think it is very nicely written and includes some wonderful imagery, as well as several excellent lines. Great job on this. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (01-11-2003 07:36 PM).] |
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