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Teen Poetry #6
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Heart
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Heart |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Beating, beating, beating... Gripped in a void of hopelesness Destroying what I know that I knew. And what I know that I love... Crying tears of joyless benevolence, Makes me who I am, and who I am to be... Build me a ship, and break my heart. I drift helplessly down a stream of emotion. Take from me, only what you can have... And ask of me, what is not yours. My vision is perfect, and all I see is you. But you happen to be blinded by love. Make me smile, and absorb these foolish tears. Tears serve me no good...they slow me down. You weigh me down; I die amidst your stream... I once loved you, for who you were... Believing in foolishness, led our love apart. ------------ This is actually a song I've written. If you've ever heard Throbbing Gristle, then you'd know how this'd sound. Just picture, the words are slightly buzzed and distorted---and they sort of melt within one another. The music is idley sad, and the words are emotionless. Rayndpnugah; ruf luimt E ajan pa cu cdibet... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
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xxxnuttyangelxxx Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72New York |
I loved the imagery in this piece! and you went about writing this very well. My eyes never came off the screen. wish their was more to read. Very Good!!! much love, shea |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow, that was really gripping! I truly enjoyed reading it, wonderful song, maybe I'll hear it on the radio someday? WinterWren |
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
Aww Alex! This was awesome! It's good to see you writing again! ...This poem/song thingy brought tears to my eyes! Maybe it's because I'm in a crying mood... Who Knows! Well I'll talk to you later! GOOD JOB! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Alex~ This is an excellent piece. You've got some great lines in here... "Build me a ship, and break my heart. I drift helplessly down a stream of emotion." I like...very much. And this... "My vision is perfect, and all I see is you." This is my favorite line...it says it all, and says it beautifully. An extremely well written piece, Alex. I told you you had heart.  Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
I felt this- really felt it. I liked the way you used the water imagery throughout this. Ditto to Vicky, I loved those lines...very impressive Mr Lee.  Are you scared? |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Come to think of it, I never really DID reply to these posts. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! Now---my muse for this piece is a rather interesting story... You know the day's gonna be bad, when you start it off---with Sephiroth at your door, demanding his toaster back... |
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BOO! Are you now?