White Chocolate Mocha (With 3-5 sugars)

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Teen Poetry #6

White Chocolate Mocha (With 3-5 sugars)

StellarChica
Member

since 2002-07-06

Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-12-18 10:36 PM

Your hair falls across your forehead,
While you pour apologies into your coffee,
You hate it (me) when it's (I'm) bitter.
I reach across the table and touch your arm,
Accidentally, of course, I was really going for the sugar.
Your hopelessy hopeful green eyes look up at me,
"I hate it when you're this pathetic," I say,
I don't even bother looking up,
I'm much too busy pouring sugar after sugar into my coffee,
And, besides, I know the look you're giving me all too well.
"Wasn't it what made you fall in love with me in the first place?" You ask.
(That one deserves another sugar.)
Your eyes are burning a hole in my face,
What are you waiting for me to do?
One brief glance at you,
Your miserable lips are dying for attention,
I don't plan on kissing you,
Not while you have coffee breath,
Not while you're this pitiful.
"Could you hand me another sugar?"

[This message has been edited by StellarChica (12-18-2002 10:57 PM).]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-12-19 06:02 PM

I don't really know what to say to this one. On the one hand, it's just a story about two people in a coffee shop. On the other hand, there's something so... deep in this that it's hard for me to fully grasp what it was that I was reading. I really like this one

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

2 posted 2002-12-19 06:54 PM

I loved this poem!! I loved the way you compared the whole situation between these two people to coffee. ( The sweet, the bitte) You used very powerful language which really made me feel the situation a lot more. I could see it in my mind while I was reading this piece. GREATTT JOBB!!

Much love,
shea

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

3 posted 2003-01-12 12:54 PM

ooooooooooooooh, you are one of the very few people here who can write like this. Awesome. Loved this piece heaps Erin, well done.

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

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