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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2002-12-16 01:33 PM

I've dipped into the anger well again,
Tasting the liquid bitterness and rage,
Crawl over my tongue,
And slither down my throat.
Feel that madness surge over my body,
It's all to familiar to me,
My face turns red,
Then blue,
I stand stagnant,
But inside I schism towards a negative emptiness,
My body reaches absolute zero.
Everything stops.
My moments.
My emotions.
My thoughts, fears, and lies,
Stop.
Living life on one fleeting moment,
I stop breathing and fall shaking on the floor.
Standing still shaking,
The Mirrors try to reach out and comfort me,
I relate to this,
With gentle demolishing,
Pounding the glass,
Until they can't touch me anymore,
Gentle whispers and harsh shrieks,
Envelop me,
Blame me.
"For all this."
"For all what?"
"Look at your hands."
Then I feel the pain,
Of Mirror glass hot and searing me to the point of
Blackness.
I wake up the next morning,
Cold/Hot mixed sweat stings my eyes,
I am alive and well,
The pain was just a nightmare,
But if the pain and anger,
Was simply transparent,
Then why are their scars on my hands?

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

1 posted 2002-12-21 09:29 PM

I know you posted this a while ago, but I like to comment on ones that didn't get any because I think if you work on it you deserve it. I enjoyed reading this, and here's what I liked..

"Living life on one fleeting moment,
I stop breathing and fall shaking on the floor."

That is a good line. The shaking really adds to the whole poem. You really have something here, and I recommend if you haven't already, that you read it aloud to yourself. It's really good that way.

I also really liked the ending. It makes you think about the whole poem and what it meant to the author, that being you of course. I liked this a lot and I've read some of your other stuff too. I like your style and writing because it is so real... keep with it.

-OtherSideOfTheMirror

CloudedDreams
Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

2 posted 2002-12-21 09:51 PM

I believe this a very deep and startling. Everything gave full meaning. Great write!

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

3 posted 2002-12-22 08:09 PM

Wow, this was great. Very powerful. I especially liked the ending. Nicely done!

*Me*
I'm pasteing my smile back on just to please you... I always knew Elmer's glue was good for something...

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