Teen Poetry #6 |
Summer boys |
wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
Summer boys are the best boys to meet The tall boys with dark skin Their bodies blazing in the summer heat Blonde hair blue eyes, beutiful I meet guys like this all summer Then comes the end they leave you leave, what a bummer Just to see them once more Hours of memories stored in my head Me and Zac chasing each other in the pool Joey and I trying to play the silent game on his bed The zipline wth Chris and our bling-bling One summer come and gone Then next summer you start where you left off Playing soccer on the lawn Sitting together at the bon fire I only want to spend the summer with one The one that was my "cousin" We had so much fun Only for the summer Summer boys are perfect,wondeful Longing once more for that summer When the days were never dull But, oh wait, it was just a dream " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Mmmm... summer boys are indeed delightful... Not that I would know or anything *grins* Anyway, I like what you have here. There are a couple of spelling mistakes, and I felt that the rhyming was a little forced, but it's all good, you know? Rj "it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious" |
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Rug_Burnt_Loser Junior Member
since 2002-12-13
Posts 11>>o.b.l.i.v.i.a.n<< |
I don't hear bummer used in poetry all that much... but not much rhymes with summer... cucumber? I agree with skyfire, the rhyming seems a little forced, but a honest poem. Overall, though, good job. Keep writing. ~morgan "In a photo the size of a kiss, a kiss in the shape of a bullet..." |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of that one song by those one guys...LFO "I like girls that wear Abocrombie and Fitch I`s taker if I had one and which..Well she`s been gone since that summer Since that summer" OMG How embarassing..I know all the words to that song! *Allison*... O I forgot bout the poem..I agree with "Morgan" the ryhming did seem a little forced but it was good none the less. "O My love Please don`t cry I`ll wash my bloody hands And well start a new life" -Good Charlotte [This message has been edited by devinechild22 (12-15-2002 10:51 PM).] |
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