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Open Poetry #22
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-10-09 04:35 AM


He had the face
of his dead brother
lying fifteen feet away--
He had my heart
most instantly
Most instantly?
I knew it safe.

I walked past him
to the casket
for this is why we do such things--
it's not respect for the dead--
but proof for those who won't believe...

We must see a body there--
lying in plasticity
a rosary of prayers stiff
a crown of thorns
that won't let bleed.

I think it's something all should see--
everyone who takes in air...
the way we look when we're "at peace"--
how much of us that is not there.

I turned to see him watching me
and then I did that greeting thing--
but his eyes were following
and others saw us staring
then they brought me to meet him--
He trembled as he stood to greet--
so obvious his pain.

He looked at me with intent eyes
and gripped my hand in white wrinkle soft--
with eyes in plead
"Do you know me?"
I cupped his life-lined face in hand
and answered,
"How could I forget,
a face so sweet as this?"

I kissed his tired skin on cheek,
wrinkled
I am quite certain
by all the love that he received,
thrifold in return.

I turned to answer his sister,
begging my arm in plea
and then I got involved with HER
and oh the conversation flowed--
but then I noticed
BEHIND ME...
HE stood there differentially--
at attention
on wobbled knees--
HE STOOD
because?
a lady did...

I pleaded with him,
"Please--sit down."
He answered
"If the lady sits..."

I smiled at him
and so I did.

I held his hand all night.


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-09-2002 05:01 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2002-10-09 05:55 AM


This is really beautiful hon, in its sadness.

hugs.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-10-09 07:10 AM



I've met him...
I did not know you would
bring him back to me
with such force,
I'm glad you met him, too...

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
3 posted 2002-10-09 11:29 AM


a wake --  a tribute to the dead

Awake  -- Witness to the living

you are amazing, LADY

held hands,
b

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-10-09 12:00 PM


serenity  
A sad but wonderful write, Holding your hand would be comforting under any circumstance.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2002-10-09 02:43 PM


What a wonderful perspective of the end and the beginning...awestruck by your honesty and clear understanding of a moment both in life and death. Exemplary. ThisDiamond
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-10-09 05:25 PM


This is one of those rich, layered ones,
that I want to parse and digest
sllllooooooooooooooo...........wly.

Let me just say...

quote:

I cupped his life-lined face in hand
and answered,
"How could I forget,
a face so sweet as this?"



Reading palms of face in palm of hand???

And ...

quote:

by all the love that he received,
thrifold in return.



The law of three.

And ....

the rosary prayers, stiff plastic, white hands, wrinkles, chivalry, all night...


THE WHOLE THING.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-10-09 06:38 PM


He had my heart
most instantly
Most instantly?
I knew it safe.

I walked past him
to the casket
for this is why we do such things--
it's not respect for the dead--
but proof for those who won't believe...
=========================================

He looked at me with intent eyes
and gripped my hand in white wrinkle soft--
with eyes in plead
"Do you know me?"
I cupped his life-lined face in hand
and answered,
"How could I forget,
a face so sweet as this?"

I kissed his tired skin on cheek,
wrinkled
I am quite certain
by all the love that he received,
thrifold in return.

================================

I read this and got tingles ...
only you could have wrote this like this
its overflowing with your empathy, humanity and humilty. Your heart is in every line and the reader feels it beating.
I truly lack the words to explain how this poem effected me, but then you already know.
love you me twin.
mothyme

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-10-09 07:49 PM


Thank you all good poet people...always I find your generous praise both astounding and soothing. to forum!
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2002-10-09 10:00 PM


I've always found that it's the quiet moments. . .

good to see you again. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
10 posted 2002-11-10 07:56 AM


Serenity, this is beautiful. There are so many aspects of this piece i could pull out, point to and go "THERE! That's what I love!" but then I'd be ripping the thing apart and that's never a good thing.

The ending was touching to say the least. I'm glad I found this. It is a magical bit of writing.

~AF~

Don't steal - the Government hates competition.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2002-12-30 03:06 PM


definately something you never forget
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