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rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

0 posted 2002-10-08 11:55 PM

fragments of a heart
I turned the broken into crumbles
A trail of pieces that I left behind
as I walked away

but she didn’t follow
why didn’t she follow?

walking backwards
I swore I wouldn’t turn around
my trail has been picked over by scavengers
pieces carried away

no wonder she didn’t follow
how could she follow?

surely she is lost
I will find her along this broken path
Is it too late to eat the crows that stole
my stale heart crumbs?

"People say I should learn some self control; but I just want to exorcise my soul"

"I'm still waiting on a revelation here in Never-Never land..."

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2002-10-09 12:17 PM

Awesome write.

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

2 posted 2002-10-09 12:52 PM

wow jeffrey...thats some stuff ....

very well written little piece of your heart...

hugs, g

"dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!" -unknown

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-10-09 01:46 AM

Jeff, this is really good!! Thanks for sharing your work.

Best Wishes,
Ethel/garysgirl

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2002-10-09 02:57 AM

Is it too late to eat the crows that stole
my stale heart crumbs?

So nice to read your work again, and this heartfelt piece is a new way to present an old tale, and yes, its too late, always is.
Well done.

Howdy Neighbour

Sharon

rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

5 posted 2002-10-09 06:12 AM

Gale,
Your "piece" comment fits my poem perfectly! Thank you; glad you like it

Mysteria, garysgirl, Miah
It feels good to be back after a few months of writer's block. Thanks for welcoming me back with open arms and words of encouragement. See you in PiP

- Jeff

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

6 posted 2002-10-09 07:23 AM

Eating crow are ya?...I've tried them skeet before...they're fun to hunt, but doesn't matter how ya cook those damn things..bake, grill, fry....they still have this chalk-like taste....I enjoyed your poem....Isn't Hansel and Gretel them two delinquents that went to fetch a pail of water, ran into three bears, built some houses made of straw, sticks and bricks?....Yanno, Mary had a little lamb but now the lamb is dead, now Mary takes the lamb to school between two slabs of bread. Think about it...if my name was Hansel or Gretel...I'd wanna be lost..wouldn't you?....seriously..interesting write bud....Toe
(and here I am making fun of the names "Hansel" and "Gretel" and my name's Toerag?...Go figure...

[This message has been edited by Toerag (10-09-2002 07:24 AM).]

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

7 posted 2002-10-09 08:06 AM

"Follow the trail of crumbles back...it's not too late...

If she truly loves you...she will wait..."

Good write...I've eaten my share of crow...

...believe what your heart feels.....

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

8 posted 2002-10-09 12:45 PM

There are always pieces, it is what we do with them.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

FuzzyFrazzledFraggle
Member

since 2002-09-20

Posts 155
Fraggle Rock

9 posted 2002-10-09 01:13 PM

you're title just reeled me in..good thing it jumped out at me..all in all enjoyed..im not much with this comment thing today..but yes we all are left with pieces its just how we use them like romeo said..me I'm still trying to figure that out..and you really don't want to know *sigh*

Consider yourself fuzzed

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

10 posted 2002-10-09 10:05 PM

but, would anyone really want to taste those pieces??

good to read you again Jeff. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

11 posted 2002-10-10 12:04 PM

Toe,
     ROTFLMAO! (when I'm done wiping the tears out of my eyes and holding my sides, I'll think if something to say to this!)
     And since you brought it up - I've been meaning to ask you for some time now: Where in the hell did you get the name Toerag? (lol)

scorpio,
     Thank you for the interesting "coda"...it fits the poem well!    -    glad you liked

Romeo,
     I don't mind there being pieces as much as I mind the fact that I can't seem to put them back together.

Fraggle,
     Glad to know that there are others who know what I am feeling.

John,
     It seems the aftertaste of those "pieces" is in my mouth everyday

- Jeff

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

12 posted 2002-10-17 12:43 PM

Sad stuff, Jeffy.

You know I love it though...maybe whoever is picking up those pieces behind you could be making a masterpiece for later..since I'm sure your heart..in one piece..is a masterpiece.

ps..ignore mushy comment if poem is not due to your personal feelings at this poing in time.

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

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