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Open Poetry #22
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I am Surrendered
| Open Poetry #22 |
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I am Surrendered |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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I am surrendered quiet and defeated, in a cave that holds no warmth. My fingers lick the walls daily – each crack the same, always sometimes I think I can change it move a stone but it returns, always my fingers lick the cracks and it is always the same This dam inside of me, holds the foundation of sanity around this place but I erode it, too I must burn the forest for it to grow again Oh, but it pains me and I am tired tired of the weight on my shoulders |
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| © Copyright 2002 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I understand this completely, the cracks are deep in the walls that we hold up under... nice writing Nicole~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
And so goes the cycle of life - Well said, Nicole - It's nice to see you posting...  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey Nic--this is "that" place I know too well--the cave analogy brought up many connotations for me--from mystery religions to womb-to cycles of moon and season. I, too, am glad to see you posting--and again, there's so much here that it's hurting my brain. ow. Hugs, lady. Sometimes it feels like forever to get to the third day...and I'll just bet a certain "someone" is going to make me explain that one!  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I wish I could do something to lift that weight up off of your shoulders. You really got to me. I can almost feel your sense of hopelessness. That is the sign of a good writer! P.S. Is your photo a self-portrait? If so, you're not only pretty as a picture, you're a pretty good artist as well! ~ Here's a sledge hammer to help you knock down those walls! ~ EA |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
to think i almost missed this... the growth i've seen from you over the past few years hasn't stopped with this one lady. it is darkly Present, and (as i mentioned in an earlier reply to someone else) completely believeable in its unbrokered honesty. there is no doubt in the reader's mind that you're laying it down and not buttering it up to make yourself look like the good girl, or making it more palatable. if it's uncomfortable, it's good. and this is uncomfortable. the easy association, the admixture of senses, the metaphorical symbolism of nature vs. psyche is stunning and REAL. i like this one, though the mommy in me ( ) wants to give you a big 'ol hug and tell you it'll be alright. just put the luggage on the conveyor and it will be handled by someone else. you |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
touching and wise: .."I must burn the forest for it to grow again".... I don't know you, or if this poem is written about yourself... but, surrender is far from defeat... it is the place right before growth and sunshine... Enjoyed reading this, hope to see more of your writing. Warm Regards, Pat without surrender, be on good terms with all persons... |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
sigh. "I must burn the forest for it to grow again"... this drives it home. how simple you make this sound. not any less devastating, but in such compacted terms. pushing it all into a single space that seems almost manageable, at least in word, the sum instead of the tiny violent details. like stating the condition ‘sandstorm’, instead of calling up the name of each flinching grain, and the winds and heat propelling it. you said it yourself: if you can get through this, you can get through everything. sometimes heros are not people who rush in one glorious moment and gain the recognition, they are the individuals who do what has to be done, sometimes beyond what they feel themselves capable, because they must, because the only other choice is giving up… even when giving up seems the much easier choice, and often they are never given acknowledgment for their battles. i have seen what you do, for the sake of yourself and for the sake of those you love, and it continuously confirms that you are one of the strongest, most astounding beings i have ever known. change will come, maybe not in the way it is wanted or expected, but it will come; something i realize you (more than myself, surely) understand. and whether you know it or not, i give a kind of silent prayer every time a trouble is met, for your strength, sanity, and resiliency in self and love, and that you reap what you are fighting to gain. |
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