Forest of Dreams (Pantoum)

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Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

0 posted 2002-10-07 05:26 AM

For those who recognize this from the workshop: It's finally done! LOL

Forest of Dreams (Pantoum)

Among your mighty trees my spirit found true liberty,
A sanctuary found within the boundaries of life.
I've wandered through your mystic land of spellbound fantasy,
Enchanted by pure magic; it enlightened inner strife.

My sanctuary found within the boundaries of life,
Regained the gift to see the world with infant's innocence.
Enchanted by this magic, it enlightened inner strife,
Gave glance at immortality and changed my views immense.

Regained the gift to see the world with infant's innocence,
By flying on the mighty wind of dreams and make believe.
A glance at immortality has changed my views immense,
While riding with the Unicorns from early Morn till Eve.

By flying on the mighty wind of dreams and make believe
And wisdom found within the dragon's truthful golden eyes,
Made riding with the Unicorns from early Morn till Eve,
To let the faded mysteries of Avalon arise.

New wisdom found within the dragon's truthful golden eyes,
The veil - concealing life - now lifted from my blinded sight;
Inside the faded mysteries of Avalon arise,
Old lessons learned anew in seeking truth within the light.

The veil - concealing life - now lifted from my blinded sight,
I've wandered through your mystic land of spellbound fantasy;
Old lessons learned anew in seeking truth within the light,
Among your mighty trees my spirit found true liberty.

Munda

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-10-07 07:26 AM

New wisdom found within the dragon's truthful golden eyes,
The veil - concealing life - now lifted from my blinded sight;
Inside the faded mysteries of Avalon arise,
Old lessons learned anew in seeking truth within the light.
================================

Munda-girl...move to the head of the class.

This was a treat to read aloud...and your imagery and theme a pleasure to partake in.
These structure poems are never easy...my muse is far too lazy these days ...rhyme alone is too much LOL
taking on the line patterns and rules of these kinds of poems is a challenge and ya made it look easy.
good to get to read you again

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-10-07 09:34 AM

This is my favorite line/image!!

By flying on the mighty wind of dreams and make believe.

It looks like you've done the form quite well, though it's a tough one. I'm guessing you want one word different, you use "Made" in one line where the previous line like it starts with "While" instead. If I don't have the parameters of the form correct in my mind, forgive me mentioning it.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-10-07 09:44 AM

Munda, this was such a delight to read. You put your feelings out there well, but your form of writing was so educational. I'm so hungry to learn more about technicalities of writing poetry.....and I'm seeing so many, many different ways of writing, here at Passions In Poetry. All of my new FAMILY OF FRIENDS are such a delight. Thanks so much for sharing.
Much love to all!!
Ethel....garysgirl

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

4 posted 2002-10-07 10:04 AM

Very well done. It's nice to see some form poetry around here. More people should do it.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2002-10-07 11:33 AM

Munda! this is exquisite! I'll put this into my favorites library, to read again and again.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2002-10-07 11:48 AM

Munda
Well done, not an easy form and you did a wonderful job. Enjoyed

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

7 posted 2002-10-07 02:02 PM

Well....WOW,

Glad to see you back and writing again Munda, missed you lots.

I like Pantoums and you wrote a beauty

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2002-10-09 06:06 AM

This is terrific Munda, I really enjoy reading Pantoums and I really enjoyed reading yours

adding to my library.

Maree

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2002-10-09 09:47 AM

(smiles) Oh Munda, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always build bridges to Avalon and beyond, I love the wisdom and serenity of this, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Munda, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

10 posted 2002-10-11 04:33 PM

Thanks everybody for your encouraging words.

Ethel: Come and see us in the Poetry Workshop anytime girl. You'll be more than welcome.

VAS - Nan always says: "Learn how to write by the rules first before bending them," so I started bending" a little.

Thank you all again for your kind words.

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