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Open Poetry #22
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"Frantically Frivolous" [Song]
| Open Poetry #22 |
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"Frantically Frivolous" [Song] |
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DaMusicMan Junior Member
since 2002-10-03
Posts 18Virginia, United States |
Readers, Well, here is the first song on here from me. I hope you all like my style of writing, 'cause I'm not changing it. Heh. P.S. And yes, it's about my sister moving out. -------------------------------- Strange coincidences Makin’ up consequences To the game of life And I’m asking why Do you do this to me Causing a big scene Rethinking every word I’ve said Wishing I was dead But I meant it, every single part It all came straight from my heart And then you left I’m feeling more inept Day by day Wishing you’d have stayed You’re my favorite Writing meaningless affidavits Proving my pick I’m losing my grip Why’d you have to leave? Won’t you come back to the family? Hearing the news made me furious But I guess you just think I’m frantically frivolous Every time you do this Everyone else is in materialistic bliss You usually come back to us But then your mouth goes bad at you cuss At out parents, Now you’re kicked out Permanently, and I doubt You’ll even come back to claim what’s yours Guess this is where those double doors Open for you, I’ll certainly miss My one and only best big sis Why’d you have to leave? Won’t you come back to the family? Hearing the news made me furious But I guess you just think I’m frantically frivolous I’ll scream as loud as I want I can’t go back to feeling jaunt You’ve found an old yet new place You should’ve seen the smile on your face When you heard money was on its way Finally you’ll have enough to remunerate Your enormous bills and I-O-U’s But you should save some to use On gas to come and visit me I know I’d do it for you, if only you’d see How much our relationship means in my Point of view, how I see it, through my eyes But you’ll never come back, no matter what Until you need more money and you have no trust Left with anyone else, I’m here for ya Start settin’ standards and keep ya head up Don’t be someone you’re not Cause you know you weren’t taught To be that way, but hell I’ll miss ya until ya ring the ball Then we can reminisce about the past I love you and your stupid ass Why’d you have to leave? Won’t you come back to the family? Hearing the news made me furious But I guess you just think I’m frantically frivolous - Errick |
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| © Copyright 2002 Errick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DaMusicMan Junior Member
since 2002-10-03
Posts 18Virginia, United States |
Since I don't think anyone saw this, here is a bump. I'm impatient, yes. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sounds like you miss your sister very much, I hope she gets to hear your song one day, so she knows that you have always been there waiting for her. I'm not sure why nobody has replied to this song yet, so I thought I'd help you out and give it a boost. I haven't a clue how to critique a song, so I'll leave that to the more experienced here. Thanks for sharing your talent here with us.  |
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DaMusicMan Junior Member
since 2002-10-03
Posts 18Virginia, United States |
Thank you, Lost Dreamer. I appreciate your comment, and I showed my sister the song, and she didn't like it. She felt I was calling her a loser, basically. But I wasn't, I was merely putting what I felt into words and into a song. Just because in the song and at that time I was feeling this way doesn't mean that I don't care about her/miss her the same amount. More or less. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
sounds more like you miss her, and are hurt by her leaving, not that you think she is a looser....ok, it does kinda sound like you are calling her a looser, but more that you miss her  I enjoyed the read, but tell me, is this fast, slow, hard???? |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Enjoyed the read. A lot expressed in the piece. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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DaMusicMan Junior Member
since 2002-10-03
Posts 18Virginia, United States |
SEA - Bleh. I'm workin' on my guitar for right now. I'll figure out what kind of music it will be when I record it, but until then, it's "rockish rap." So, I'd say fast-hard kinda. Yea. And thanks for reading the song, you two. |
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