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Open Poetry #22
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a stitch--demised
| Open Poetry #22 |
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a stitch--demised |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I knew the art of eyeing thread within the sliver of a dawn I knew the contrast of silver-- slip o silk and through--beyond... I wish I'd write a better play. I wish I had a better thread... upon a spool of time... spindled... oiled by the drop I bled. I wish I were... I wish me gone. I wish I wish a tide in song... pieces of me on the shore add me to collection for? I am just a tide in rise... I'm just the lace-loop stitch--demised. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-04-2002 02:16 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
I liked this poem's musical qualities and the effective way it expreses deep emotion. Your style reminds me a little of Sylvia Plath's. Is that a coincidence or have you read her a lot? Thanks for sharing. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Plath? We once shared a razor. (bad joke) thank you.  ? |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
"I'm Nobody! -- Who are you? -- Are you -- Nobody -- too?" |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is beautifully done, Serenity. I especially liked the meter that you used to ever-so-finely tweak the flow. I especially liked the image of the threads, and the use of the colour silver... "contrast of silver..." what contrasts with silver? If you knew, then tell me.  I can't conjure anything that would contrast with silver.You sure do like to make me think, don't you?  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Beautifully written, Serenity, enjoyed reading! ~Tier "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Serenity, Your lullaby made me sigh and your ending made me cry.  |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
This is aching and powerful write. Hugs, You are more that a “ I'm just the lace-loop stitch--demised.” Far more, Be well. K El riesgo vive siempre! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Serenity blaze, Very good work. thanks for sharing. Best wishes... Ethel........garysgirl |
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