navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #22 » Hello Above.........Serenity's Challange
Open Poetry #22
Post A Reply Post New Topic Hello Above.........Serenity's Challange Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2002-10-03 11:54 PM


hello
above I think you are
or all around
that star

can’t say that I’ve not looked away
a stray
but I used to be Sunday’s child
licking that gold star beside my name in school
and every night I laid me down
my soul
what was that I didn’t know
but didn’t want to die before I woke
forsaken..no no

I asked you to help me back then when I was ten
with something bigger then I have known since
put my hands out into the dark
in my room with the closet I feared and asked
just needed to know what to do

and while I’m at the questioning
I’ve been wondering about that angel
I called Michelle
you know she was special she was
most for me a first big love
and my prayer was big that day
I know I’d faltered earlier and now I was in need
all of a sudden I asked
..is that greed

to take a child who was loved so dear
this tear is all you gave to me in answer
and still I ask
how is this plan worked out

I don’t mean any disrespect
and I’m sure you know my heart is good
believes in love and brotherhood

and I appreciate all the little things you made
for me to touch
and I know one day beyond this time
sense will make of me some semblance
of what this time spent is meant to be

until then just one thing for peace on earth
goodwill to men
could we get some help with this

amen

[This message has been edited by Martie (10-03-2002 11:56 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2002-10-03 11:57 PM


Martie,
I'm at a loss for words, to try and explain how touching this is (((hugs)))for you

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-10-03 11:59 PM


"I don’t mean any disrespect
and I’m sure you know my heart is good
believes in love and brotherhood
and doing onto others good

and I appreciate all the little things you made
for me to touch
and I know one day beyond this time
sense will make of me some semblance
of what the time spent was meant to be"




(big hugggssssss) Oh Martie, this is soooo wonderfully heartfelt, sweet friend, I know with all my heart that your Michelle is safe in His embrace just as He holds the answers to man and He does have a plan that the only thing more we need is man's heart to listen and cooperate which only time can help establish, which then these circles of goodwill will spread! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is a fabulous challenge response, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

3 posted 2002-10-04 12:05 PM


Think you worked a bit of Job into this Jeremiah.  The questioning here and this challenge, in general, seem to be stalking me tonight...lol.  Is making me think.

[This message has been edited by Duncan (10-04-2002 12:07 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-10-04 12:34 PM


my
my my
my mmmarvelous mmmartie?
(I swear there is something French in me that makes me type: "marite")

yes...you took this to the depths and beyond. Book of Job? Indeed.
Jeremiad?
I'll work pro-bono on your defense.

What a gracious spirit, and generous, with your willing heart.

Thank you.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-10-04 06:52 AM



Most special...
   the poet
       the challenge
           the questions
               most special

the answer that will come, one day...

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2002-10-04 10:06 AM


Martie - sweet poetess, this has touched me deeply. hugs to you, Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2002-10-04 10:20 AM


My friend... the questions are ones certainly begging an answer...and ones you and I both know we'll have to wait to fully understand..
very skillfully written.. very touching..


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-10-04 10:32 AM


Martie,
Your writing always lifts the mist and shows the horizon.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2002-10-04 02:27 PM


Martie, this has such a ring of truth that I could hear you saying the words. Well done!
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

10 posted 2002-10-04 02:47 PM


martie.......wow, don't know what I could say that hasn't been said......wonderful touching write....course everything you write is...sigh..
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2002-10-04 02:49 PM


rereading only brings more tears.....the honesty reaches the heart of me
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2002-10-04 03:59 PM


to take a child who was loved so dear
this tear is all you gave to me in answer
and still I ask
how is this plan worked out

I don't mean any disrespect
and I'm sure you know my heart is good
believes in love and brotherhood


and I appreciate all the little things you made
for me to touch
and I know one day beyond this time
sense will make of me some semblance
of what this time spent is meant to be


until then just one thing for peace on earth
goodwill to men
could we get some help with this

=====================================


Isnt just like you to ask for all of humanity and add in self humilty while asking the hearts hardest questions of why.
The challenge was to "pitch a fit" ...
you penned a prayer of pure poetry...I bet its gets heard first


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
13 posted 2002-10-04 08:01 PM


can’t say that I’ve not looked away
a stray
but I used to be Sunday’s child
licking that gold star beside my name in school
and every night I laid me down
my soul
what was that I didn’t know
but didn’t want to die before I woke
forsaken..no no

Something about this verse just really speaks, that is not say that wole poem doesn't, it does and then some.
Martie, these are powerful words, wonderfully written.


El riesgo vive siempre!

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
14 posted 2002-10-04 08:47 PM


Touching is an understatement our Cali Girl..

You wrote your heart into this poem...
I can see that very easily from all
which is within this....

Beautifully done dear one...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2002-10-04 09:05 PM


Thank you for your replies to this...

I think when you're talking to God, it's best to write the truth and make it from the heart...and that's what I tried to do.  


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2002-10-05 05:43 PM



Came back for another read...
still feeling the heart-tugs...
still...knowing why the why is questioned...

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
17 posted 2002-10-06 12:20 PM


oh, how utterly touching; lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.........
..................................

without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
18 posted 2002-10-06 04:37 PM


Martie - I believe the spirit of love you approach has the same questions you ask - so often we reach out for answers only to find a tear, pain, aches and loss which the love spirit is feeling tha pain and crying too - Job and JEremiah have nothing that approaches the searching soul you share with us - lovely - Paul
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

19 posted 2002-10-06 05:27 PM


Hi Martie a beautifully met challenge sweet lady. I absolutely loved it.

Maree

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
20 posted 2002-10-06 09:08 PM


Hello, Martie. There's no way that I could say any more than your other family of friends has already said. I only know that you did a very sincere job of pouring your heart out to God in this poem (prayer). Though none of us could even begin to try to explain the reason "why", I do feel that one day the answer will be known to you. The word of God says that our minds could not even comphehend if we knew all the mysteries of Him. I hope you feel all the love that's poured out to you from all your "family of friends". My heart goes out to you.
Love,
Ethel

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
21 posted 2004-06-13 11:18 PM


No cries are quite as fervent as those of and for a child.  This is beautiful.  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #22 » Hello Above.........Serenity's Challange

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary