Open Poetry #22 |
Jeremiad |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And now I've spent a lifetime-- I searched for your face in the clouds. In caution I split blades of grass blowing cacaphony call hoping you would hearken to my childish plea. I studied words I've still not heard spoken aloud--profane- but my heart desired arms to breach the sky I reached to find and yet I found you...not. So I began The Quest of Knight-- a child in search of Holy Grail. I looked for you in leather bind sure that I could find you there wise between the lines of sage on pages aged beyond my years yellow in the frailty of foolishness of open book some maps drawn from those on run-- and they were just as blind as me. I sought the glory--majestry of cathedrals--gilded God-- compliantly I opened my mouth to taste the bread of Divinity. I covered head to tred into the temples that engaged me so-- I was not hallowed to pray because--I was, and still remain-- unclean--an accident of birth? created thus by you? So I bellowed at your servant, "Why was my birth allowed?" So I washed the dust then from my feet. Then I questioned everyone-- like mother frantic for lost child-- gripping on the arms of strangers: "Tell me, have you seen?" Everyone replied "they had." Each time they spoke, I felt defiled. Each time I asked--my shoulders sagged-- as they described...themselves... I learned to speak their languages-- I married thoughts born from the signs. My flesh was forty days--tempted-- with always silver on my mind. I learned about the crucifixion-- I learned to striate sacred heart. I learned the weight of selfish feet compared to feather-weight of cross carried for just someone else... But I was of no use to 'them'-- those there behind the table-- selling white doves in a cage-- insurance of the money-changers: I was dismissed for lack of sacrificial meat. So I became a child again and lived in morphine dream I closed my eyes. I closed my ears. I probed too deep for piety. I met a man who told me once, "You'll not find God within syringe." I looked at him through idiocy-- and asked: "Is not God EVERYWHERE?" So he washed the dust then from his feet. So here I am in my lament-- resigned to walk a path alone. It's okay with me, yanno-- I was born that way. (You know.) I know, that's how I'll die-- the same as I am now. But oh-I-plead-with-you in this dark night of my soul-- I'll pray for grace and mercy,prove-- even if it means demise. Can I stay with you tonight? Oh let me rest with you one night... Perhaps this wretched loneliness is incentive that I need to make me look for YOU-- the Truth. I am in need of sustenance. Let me wash your feet tonight. * * * Jeremiad jer-i-my'ad, n (From Jeremiah, reputed author of the Book of Lamentations) A lamentation or prolonged complaint; an angry or cautionary harangue. Poor Jeremiah! He writes one complaining letter to God, whines about the state of the world, gets it published in the most popular book of all time, and his name is forever attached to the concept of complaining and lamenting one's fate. came back to give credit to the man who wrote the above definition: http://phrontistery.50megs.com/favourite.html You should look around this site awhile, it's fascinating. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-27-2002 07:59 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
oh my god |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
*raised eyebrow* Wow. That was impressive. Kielo |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Bri and Ki...thank you...and Bri? not sure if my e mail is running right now...but thanks for the wonderful compliment. love to you both. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Sen, This was like the tower of Babel, only ... it's the TEMPLE of babel, and the temple is a body, isn't it? Amazing, Sen.... You grow so fast it's a wonder yr bones don't break. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh...I'll e ya...this'n was... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This poem's so in-depth and cool, I want to read it slow as sunlight. quote: Already the depth and richness of this piece. Spitting grass makes me think of when I was a little kid. There's a certain type of grass you can whistle into, too, but I was never able to do that. And, the fact that you call this heart's desire "cacaphony call." Man, this is just so layered. quote: This could mean so many different things. A Bible? A diary? A letter from a love? The words I love you? Your poetry? Man, I love this! quote: Arms as love. Arms as weapon. Phew. quote: A lilting hesitation. quote: This here blows me away. Rather than searing FOR a knight, you're questing AS a knight -- damn, Sen. quote: When you first read this, you think she's looking for someone pinioned. Later on, you find out that's true -- but in WRITING. In a book. Leather binding as leather bind. Wow.... quote: The anger and bitterness here, and wonder and hope. I can read you like an open book ... the FOOLISHNESS of open book. You're making me grasp for words to explain the power of this poem, Sen. quote: A stunner. Reading maps of the directionless. ...... (hey, thanks for the poem idea ) quote: This has so many connotations. Especially how you say gilded God. Gilded the Lily? ARRRGH you're BRILLIANT!!!! quote: This is curious, powerful verse. It's like, the narrator wants faith, but acknowledges it as compliance and something to engage oneself in, not something to believe.... quote: This reminds me of Prince's Thieves in the Temple. (love come quick/ love come in a hurry/ there are thieves in the temple tonight) Do you listen to Prince at all? If you don't -- start! Psychosexualspiritual genius. Right up our alleys. Continuing... quote: Of course, the symbolism of washing feet... And then, to ask questions to be sickened by the reply. This is so raw and yet ... so honed. This is magick, Sen. quote: Almost as if looking for answers that are nothing but questions. quote: A theologian or a Biblical scholar would sup on these words for hours, luxuriating in their mingled tastes and meaning. I mean, you have Babel here, a touch of Zodiac, Jesus tempted in the desert, Judas .... You're blowin' my mind, Sen. This is POETRY. quote: Coming to grips with the selflessness of sacrifice, and how hard it is to achieve. I love that feet are weighed but crosses are feather-light. Unbelievable language. You're making me think hard. I love it! quote: This makes me think of Jesus angry in the temple. How do you write like this? quote: Nothing to sacrifice!!!!! Holy!!!!!!! quote: The drugged stillness of color and shape. quote: The pain in this.... It reminds me of God is nowhere. God is now here. quote: Entering a new temple.... quote: Sigh, here's you. All the way to "Yanno." Though you might be alone in distance, I hope you don't feel alone in the mind, the soul, the heart. This whole poem feels like a scream for understanding (since acceptance is impossible) I've accepted that. quote: The repetition of yanno (as you know) and (I know) is geniius. And this made me sad. To feel so alone and apart. *hug* quote: Complete devotion, born of desporation, desolation and...? quote: And now it's a love poem of the soul! Without breaking character or bread........................ *thump* quote: And now, back to the spiritual plane that yr intelligence and heart requires. quote: .....................................................this poem is a miracle of the pen. Such striations of doubt and hope and faith and hate and loathing and prayer and ....... You've written you! God I love this poem! You've written you!!!!!! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
... *I'll be back when I catch my breath!* |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
Mike only you had the bravery. this poem is so powerfully beautiful and deep I was afraid of it and ran but I can read it forever now Karen -- we thank you for this and for you b |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh my gosh, this is excellent, I am speechless, though I know how both admirable and embarrassing it could be to have your name marked down as the epitome of complaining in the book! (big hugggsssss) You speak of this yearning for enlightenment so well, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Wow, I'll be back when I can find something to say besides....."I'm speachless"..... ~Sheri |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I want to thank you all---so I will. Thank you. But especially, Brian--my adorable muse who helped me yank this out of me achin' head--our conversations are a constant source of inspiration...eternally grateful. And Mike? I do owe ya big time. I seldom ask people to read my stuff, but I was feeling awfully lonely and misunderstood at that point, and your breakdown of it, was so on-the-money....grinning, I deliberately edited leather bindings to leather "bind" to convey just that double meaning of imagery. And wanted to add? That this verse? "I sought the glory--majestry of cathedrals--gilded God-- compliantly I opened my mouth to taste the bread of Divinity. I covered head to tred into the temples that engaged me so-- I was not hallowed to pray because--I was, and still remain-- unclean--an accident of birth? created thus by you? So I bellowed at your servant, "Why was my birth allowed?"" Was my expression of my fury as I encountered blatant misogyny in several of the Patriarchal centered organized religions who would not allow me to learn or patronized my inquiries simply because I am a woman. Thank you all, but my guys, a million hugs with kisses for making me feel UNDERSTOOD. love to all. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ah'll be back... uhm, sometime. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Karen, been without phone/electric a couple of days. I wish that I had this with me, during. These words should be consumed as "these gifts" have been. Stunned, wrecked, amazed. ....and now, rendered mute. ~Ed |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
oh yes, this is deeply |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
No longer mute, I want to say that I believe this to be Art in it's truest, finest definition. I know nothing of poetry, I do know that when a person opens him/herself to their very foundation, distils the essence found there and offers it up to public perusal, That Is High Art! You do what I could only hope to, with this. ~Ed |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ed? Thank you. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Serenity, Ahhh... I should've seen that. Oops on my part. Damn, this is good writing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ALL of what the Squirrel man said...ALL! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
hmnph...that all you got to say about it? Ser... this is indeed a lament...a baring of the soul that would be impossible to follow. you write as your soul is....and we are richer for it... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I'm a man of few words, Ron. Now I'm going to stop talking for once. Mikey |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Well M'lady...Thine book lies in open wonder. Each a temple, yes..and a poetic story that you've just lightly touched upon. Wail..lament..sing above the white noise of oppressive assumptions. There is but only one you. Perfectly, spiritually moving. Sincerely, Reg |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just so the Cpat knows...I came back for a third read... and THAT's all I'm going to say about it... until I come back for the 4th time. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
If the sun keeps shining at night? I may get a swollen head... hmmm.. studying the situation... prolly not! But oh...you all make me feel so good. Understanding is better than drugs. and Reg? you too were right on the money in sensing that I "held back"--I did. But the praise of so many that I respect means much to me...more than I can say? (hmmm...maybe I should TRY?) I don't know how to "not" go for it--- everything else seems empty. and? psssst...to bsquirrel...think blades of grass for the first verse (don't discount Whitman) ...And the triple? "yanno" to "upper case" you know, to lower case, "you know" was my feeble attempt at personalizing Holy trinity.... my gosh? grin... yer all to good to me... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
And now I've spent a lifetime-- I searched for your face in the clouds. In caution I split blades of grass blowing cacaphony call hoping you would hearken to my childish plea. I studied words I've still not heard spoken aloud--profane- but my heart desired arms to breach the sky I reached to find and yet I found you...not. So I began The Quest of Knight-- a child in search of Holy Grail. I looked for you in leather bind sure that I could find you there wise between the lines of sage on pages aged beyond my years yellow in the frailty of foolishness of open book some maps drawn from those on run-- and they were just as blind as me. I sought the glory--majestry of cathedrals--gilded God-- compliantly I opened my mouth to taste the bread of Divinity. I covered head to tred into the temples that engaged me so-- I was not hallowed to pray because--I was, and still remain-- unclean--an accident of birth? created thus by you? So I bellowed at your servant, "Why was my birth allowed?" So I washed the dust then from my feet. Then I questioned everyone-- like mother frantic for lost child-- gripping on the arms of strangers: "Tell me, have you seen?" Everyone replied "they had." Each time they spoke, I felt defiled. Each time I asked--my shoulders sagged-- as they described...themselves... I learned to speak their languages-- I married thoughts born from the signs. My flesh was forty days--tempted-- with always silver on my mind. I learned about the crucifixion-- I learned to striate sacred heart. I learned the weight of selfish feet compared to feather-weight of cross carried for just someone else... ====================================== Ok.....with worship knee pads on...I will make a mothy attempt to do this justice... I read this last week from Marks computer when you first posted it..before I was even half way thru...I emailed the link to home to my comp till I had time to give it my undivided attention...while reading it I was shaking my head and saying "damn" over and over... when I got to Brians, Kielo's and Mikes replies I smiled from ear to ear and yelled out YES!! .... One of your best...but on a VERY LONG LIST.... Mikes first reply about how fast you grow nailed my thoughts.... this is a pefect example of what I have said many times before...you write so impressively and so intelligently on so many subjects, with such depth and intensity. This is an amazing write KA...you took your poetry to a higher level with this inspire.. the metaphors, analogies, vocabulary and imagery are poetry in motion...the meter and flow read like water running over crystal stones..your took this theme and made it your own...your pen bled blue for this and it shows. Proof positive of what I have always said...you are poetry baby. and? you know of course..that I was singing "Wonder" to you after I read this. [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (10-02-2002 08:58 AM).] |
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