Open Poetry #22 |
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To a better poet |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855![]() |
How do your words issue a rattled, flowing calm? How do they burn a hole the shape and depth of song? How do you sculpt wine's notes? How do you bear its hold? You lay it down, without trick, to smell the color of the dust. A poem lifted by its chains to report a life of blood. How do you solve the marks from eyes that gray like seeds? How many ghosts have held the bread you write (on which I feed). Oh, if I had your table, if I had your knife, if I had your meter, I'd write to save my life. |
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© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Awesome write Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh but Mikey...you do possess those things. And a wonderfully talented poet you are! Love this! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
Very good read. But from what I can tell you do a darn good job yourself. thanks for sharing. ![]() |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Michael... I curtsey to this verse...[KIT! Where's the curtsey smilie when I need it!] This, my young man, is quite remarkable... and the stars around you are glowing! |
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Crazy Eddie Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178 |
Very well written piece though I thought the repetitive nature of the last stanza weakened the ending slightly but that’s probably a fault in my reading rather than your writing. ![]() |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Applause! Applause! What a glorious poem! Just keep writing what you do You do it the best! Well done! Liz |
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Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (smiles) Oh Michael, this is wonderful, sweet friend, you truly possess so much talent and with your words can make so many things possible! (sigh) Well-done, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing! ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Amazing... ~Tier ![]() "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Mike, I would like to write this whole poem again---only sign my name and dedicate this poem to you! ~ you are so gifted, that I am in awe of your talent. I don't think I always grasp the full meaning of all your writing because, frankly, you are a more sophisticated thinker than I am, but I always enjoy your play with words, messages, images, thought-provoking, emotion-stirring poetry! ~ I curtsy to you, dear poet ~ Lindy Lou |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
![]() Okay, just read Linda's post again. She said everything I was going to. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
michael...how could that be? i read you (i may not always comment) but your words are like feathers attached to concrete they always fly...you are truly gifted and your words are golden...helen |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
Mike Mike Mike a self portrait *looking again* yeah this is a MASTERPIECE your humble reader, brian |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Dude, I'm actually gonna be the first to ask??? Okay, so who's the better poet. ![]() I should be in bed now. It's so past my bedtime, but I just watched Urban Legend. I have a reason! I swear! A good reason! The posturing pretty-boy lead male is Jared Leto. I HAD to try to connect him to his singing voice somehow, but it still won't happen. I mean, dude, the man who sings Buddha For Mary and Capricorn (A Brand New Name) and Oblivion and who listens to Manson and takes obvious influence from him and Cure and Metallica....looks like a Backstreet Boy! I'm going to go sulk in this world where pretty-boy young-adult actors can became amazing musicians... It still just refuses to click properly. Even him in Fight Club won't click. Maybe especially. ![]() BUT, I love the fact that there are no pics of him in the entirety of the CD casing OR the band's site. He's trying to escape his pretty-boy teen-movie past. Yay! Or maybe trying to get people to treat his movie career as seperate, which I can so do. Considering I had no clue who he was. ![]() Still doesn't explain why his singing voice sounds familiar! And the fact that he's kinda-famous makes me so confused that 30 Seconds to Mars' debut album was the cheapest CD I've bought in years. your tongue's like poison |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The better poet---smiling here--always the one who says PRECISELY what is on your mind. and yes, like YOU did with this one and so many other works of your originality. You should publish. grinning...the world needs your words. ![]() |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Better Poet??? Surely you understand that better is totally subjective in many ways..and in my subjective world..I am struggling to think of one who does indeed lay down the words any better than you my friend. There are those here and in other places that write differently than you, and that I personally enjoy perhaps as much as I do reading your words...but do not sell yourself short here. YOU are indeed one of those poets I consistantly read and I know many others do as well. The verse itself... reflects the talent you have and expresses the way I think many of us feel about words we read here and other places. An excellent write...and as Sunshine says " a keeper" for sure. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
*Bowing* To a damn fine writer. Better? yes, and better each day, each write ~Ed [This message has been edited by wranx (09-26-2002 09:06 AM).] |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
![]() Julie, thanks. Nancy, I appreciate that. Your words are magic. Miah, thank you. Karilea, we do need more smilies, don't we? Thank you. Crazy Eddie, the ending will no doubt be something I come back to in a few years' time and say WHAT WAS I THINKING? E.S., Why, thank you! Thanks, Noah. Tier, we should write a poem together. Linda, some people find sophistication. I just find a young writer coming to grips with the limits of his knowledge and technique. Thank you for the kind words. Anne, aww.... thank you. Helen, only a poet could come up with an analogy like that! Thanks to you. brian, go write something. Thanks. Babygrrl, I've seen Urban Legends. Let's not talk about it. ![]() And I'm not gonna give out names -- I don't someone to come to this list and say "Hey, why's my name not on it?" But I will say, it's a combination of the people who replied to this, some who haven't, and many words in many, many books. I love you. Serenity, I've got Isidore on my mind for some reason. Perhaps I'll write a poem about it. And perhaps, I won't. Thank you. Ron, thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your kindness. Ed, Nah, I'm not better. I just can't shut off my mind and stop writin' even once. Thanks again, everyone. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Heh Mike, I think you wrote this poem while gazing into the mirror. You are fine and talented poet, remember that as poets we are always honing our craft, even the better poet who inspired this poem is still honing their craft. Each one of us grows at our own pace. Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood |
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Krishankins![]()
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972Texas |
Mike, you amaze me with some of these images you write!! I always enjoy your work!!! ![]() Kris Hey dog, did you see the size of that chicken!? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike You are an extraordinary poet! |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Brian, Thank you. Crank up some Ian for me. Kris, I'm glad you've found such a receptive home here. I knew you would. You're great with yr words. Martie, Much thanks. I will gladly follow after you shadow, trying to match. ![]() |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
bsquirrel - you did very well with this write... BC |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, BC. |
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