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Open Poetry #22
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-09-25 07:00 PM


How do your words issue
a rattled, flowing calm?
How do they burn a hole
the shape and depth of song?
How do you sculpt wine's notes?
How do you bear its hold?

You lay it down, without trick,
to smell the color of the dust.
A poem lifted by its chains
to report a life of blood.
How do you solve the marks
from eyes that gray like seeds?
How many ghosts have held
the bread you write
(on which I feed).

Oh,
if I had your table,
if I had your knife,
if I had your meter,
I'd write to save my life.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-09-25 07:01 PM


Awesome write

Cold hands means a warm heart

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-09-25 07:28 PM


Oh but Mikey...you do possess those things.
And a wonderfully talented poet you are!
Love this!
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2002-09-25 07:49 PM


Very good read.  But from what I can tell you do a darn good job yourself.  thanks for sharing.  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-09-25 07:55 PM



Michael...

I curtsey to this verse...[KIT!  Where's the curtsey smilie when I need it!]

This, my young man, is quite remarkable...
and the stars around you
are glowing!

Crazy Eddie
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178

5 posted 2002-09-25 07:57 PM



Very well written piece though I thought the repetitive nature of the last stanza weakened the ending slightly but that’s probably a fault in my reading rather than your writing.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2002-09-25 09:12 PM


Applause! Applause!
What a glorious poem!
Just keep writing what you do
You do it the best!
Well done!
Liz

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2002-09-25 09:19 PM




(smiles) Oh Michael, this is wonderful, sweet friend, you truly possess so much talent and with your words can make so many things possible! (sigh) Well-done, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
8 posted 2002-09-25 09:49 PM


Amazing...

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2002-09-25 11:15 PM



Mike, I would like to write this whole poem  again---only sign my name and dedicate this poem to you!

~ you are so gifted, that I am in awe of your talent. I don't think I always grasp the full meaning of all your writing because, frankly, you are a more sophisticated thinker than I am, but I always enjoy your play with words, messages, images, thought-provoking, emotion-stirring poetry!

~ I curtsy to you, dear poet ~
Lindy Lou

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
10 posted 2002-09-25 11:24 PM




Okay, just read Linda's post again. She said everything I was going to.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
11 posted 2002-09-25 11:31 PM


michael...how could that be? i read you (i may not always comment) but your words are like feathers attached to concrete they always fly...you are truly gifted and your words are golden...helen
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
12 posted 2002-09-26 01:04 AM


Mike
Mike
Mike

a self portrait

*looking again*

yeah

this
is
a
MASTERPIECE

your humble reader,
brian

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
13 posted 2002-09-26 03:01 AM


Dude, I'm actually gonna be the first to ask???

Okay, so who's the better poet. Even if I haven't heard th' name, toss it my way.

I should be in bed now.

It's so past my bedtime, but I just watched Urban Legend. I have a reason! I swear! A good reason! The posturing pretty-boy lead male is Jared Leto. I HAD to try to connect him to his singing voice somehow, but it still won't happen.

I mean, dude, the man who sings Buddha For Mary and Capricorn (A Brand New Name) and Oblivion and who listens to Manson and takes obvious influence from him and Cure and Metallica....looks like a Backstreet Boy!

I'm going to go sulk in this world where pretty-boy young-adult actors can became amazing musicians... It still just refuses to click properly. Even him in Fight Club won't click. Maybe especially. He plays Angel Face, the blondest of blonde, who gets his face smashed in by Edward Norton just 'cause he wants to destroy something beautiful.

BUT, I love the fact that there are no pics of him in the entirety of the CD casing OR the band's site. He's trying to escape his pretty-boy teen-movie past. Yay! Or maybe trying to get people to treat his movie career as seperate, which I can so do. Considering I had no clue who he was.

Still doesn't explain why his singing voice sounds familiar!

And the fact that he's kinda-famous makes me so confused that 30 Seconds to Mars' debut album was the cheapest CD I've bought in years.

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2002-09-26 03:36 AM


The better poet---smiling here--always the one who says PRECISELY what is on your mind.

and yes, like YOU did with this one and so many other works of your originality.

You should publish. grinning...the world needs your words.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

15 posted 2002-09-26 07:23 AM


Better Poet??? Surely you understand that better is totally subjective in many ways..and in my subjective world..I am struggling to think of one who does indeed lay down the words any better than you my friend. There are those here and in other places that write differently than you, and that I personally enjoy perhaps as much as I do reading your words...but do not sell yourself short here. YOU are indeed one of those poets I consistantly read and I know many others do as well.

The verse itself... reflects the talent you have and expresses the way I think many of us feel about words we read here and other places.
An excellent write...and as Sunshine says " a keeper" for sure.


wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
16 posted 2002-09-26 09:03 AM


*Bowing*


To a damn fine writer.

Better? yes, and better each day, each write
~Ed


[This message has been edited by wranx (09-26-2002 09:06 AM).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

17 posted 2002-09-26 12:44 PM


Thanks for the outpouring, everyone. This will be the only smiley face, because otherwise I'm gonna hit the limit really quickly.

Julie, thanks.

Nancy, I appreciate that. Your words are magic.

Miah, thank you.

Karilea, we do need more smilies, don't we?
Thank you.

Crazy Eddie, the ending will no doubt be something I come back to in a few years' time and say WHAT WAS I THINKING?

E.S., Why, thank you!

Thanks, Noah.

Tier, we should write a poem together.

Linda, some people find sophistication. I just find a young writer coming to grips with the limits of his knowledge and technique. Thank you for the kind words.

Anne, aww.... thank you.

Helen, only a poet could come up with an analogy like that! Thanks to you.

brian, go write something. Thanks.

Babygrrl,
I've seen Urban Legends. Let's not talk about it. The band sounds cool, though.
And I'm not gonna give out names -- I don't someone to come to this list and say "Hey, why's my name not on it?" But I will say, it's a combination of the people who replied to this, some who haven't, and many words in many, many books.

I love you.

Serenity, I've got Isidore on my mind for some reason. Perhaps I'll write a poem about it. And perhaps, I won't. Thank you.

Ron, thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your kindness.

Ed, Nah, I'm not better. I just can't shut off my mind and stop writin' even once.

Thanks again, everyone.

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
18 posted 2002-09-26 02:23 PM


Heh Mike, I think you wrote this poem while gazing into the mirror. You are fine and talented poet, remember that as poets we are always honing our craft, even the better poet who inspired this poem is still honing their craft. Each one of us grows at our own pace.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
19 posted 2002-09-26 03:16 PM


Mike, you amaze me with some of these images you write!! I always enjoy your work!!!



Kris

Hey dog, did you see the size of that chicken!?

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2002-09-26 03:36 PM


Mike

You are an extraordinary poet!

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

21 posted 2002-09-26 04:10 PM


Brian,
Thank you. Crank up some Ian for me.

Kris,
I'm glad you've found such a receptive home here. I knew you would. You're great with yr words.

Martie,
Much thanks. I will gladly follow after you shadow, trying to match.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
22 posted 2002-09-26 07:28 PM


bsquirrel - you did very well with this write...

BC

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

23 posted 2002-09-27 11:57 AM


Thank you, BC.
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