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RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

0 posted 2002-09-22 11:30 PM

From a distance of a dark
Winter night solemn cont-
emplation rests, a spiritual
eagle on a horizontal bough
of the austere Oak, o'er a
blue ocean recalling the
path we started.

How the golden Sun in
our Spring like a lion
in morning whose expres-
sive eyes saw hope in
fair beginings,

how Mars rose from clay
a man, firm, radiant in
Summer's noon. Explosive
and expansive as a quick
growing pine in its eager-
ness for light, warmth and
life, to agitate, vacillate
and scatter.

Was it the conqueror of clouds?
The ruler of storms who blind
me to time and placed me these
two months to enourmous heights
on the pendant boughs of the
Great Northern Fir?

Lugubrious on a tree which
marks the border where
vegitation disappears,
growing between existence
and nothingness, the
finite and the infinite.

Why had I not the patience
to await the equilibrium
of your season, Fall, the
western horizon of your
Moon, the order of your
evening and the soft
light of Love?

I merge with the
Northern wind
not looking back
and forgiving
myself.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-09-22 11:32 PM

I like the description. Good write

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2002-09-23 12:55 PM

Your words always soar, upon eagle wings.

I really like this ending, Richard.

"I merge with the
Northern wind
not looking back
and forgiving
myself"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-09-23 02:19 PM

"how Mars rose from clay
a man, firm, radiant in
Summer's noon"

You always raise some interesting questions well defined with fine images, RS...

you are a deep thinker and I kinda LIKE that in a poet...chuckling here, now some questions on the meter...(I am a "meter-challenged" poet, and I need to mix this up a bit as I am boring myself to tears with whatever this groove I seem to be stuck in)

I noticed how you broke up the con-templation, was that to adhere to a metered structure, or was there another reason for that?...hmmm...I am obsessing again, and, tsk...poor you, when I get like this, I tend to study certain poets, and I think it is YOU, this time, m'friend...

Thanks for the read, and I WILL be hanging around!

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

4 posted 2002-09-23 09:23 PM

While I was more concerned with content and ignored the recurrence of stressed accent of a regular, measurable pattern I am flattered that you found a meter here.

I find it easier to rhyme than not but the constraints placed on one when adhering to traditional forms sometimes hinders articulation. But that's the challenge n'est pas?

The eagle, always aloof is hindsight on winter (age?) the oak symbolic of the calm enjoyed by great souls.

In the second stanza one can almost sense a bright eyed puppy, tail awag.

The stanza to which you refer is a turning point in this free verse poem. It is full of sexual imagery. "Earthy" man radiant (blushed?), firm (now I blush), explosive and expansive. The commas entry was for tension. Did this ruin a potential epic Love? Did eagerness for warmth scatter it?

The fourth and fifth stanzas, the downfall and isolation of abandonment, the confusion in loss.

The sixth the lament and longing for what might have been had perhaps patience prevailed.

The last acceptance.

I appreciate your reading and interest. I realize I can be difficult as I struggle to find my true voice in a form of art still relatively new to me, one where the more I learn the less I seem to know.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-09-24 11:13 AM

Richard?

Thank you much for that in depth reply.
Many poets do not care to explain, but I find it helps me as a reader, and hopefully, as a writer, to see and understand how others work.

I thank you very much, for the poem and your patience of explanation. I realize it's not always easy to do so...personally? I view poems as some sort of chrystallized thought--as individual as snowflakes...so I very gratefully thank you for taking the time to lend me this insight.

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

6 posted 2002-09-25 09:21 PM

Why had I not the patience
to await the equilibrium
of your season, Fall, the
western horizon of your
Moon, the order of your
evening and the soft
light of Love?

A passage as soft and gentle as moonlight itself.

Perhaps some things are worth the wait and then again, in the famous words of Miss O'Hara, "tomorrow is another day."

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