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Open Poetry #22
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once a dunce and Once a gent
| Open Poetry #22 |
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once a dunce and Once a gent |
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Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169
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once a dunce and Once a gent, (if worth is by measure meant) came themselves into a grove, of Tea and cups and sheeps that wove. Their names are unimportant to the import of this tense, but for public (simple) posterity, the dunce: Jimmy Bob, the gent: Daniel Lee. the dunce was thinking of hisself of no triple r's and of unwealth, and saw the gent just like a spark, that answers questions, strips off bark. said Jimmy Bob to Daniel Lee: "who are you and who is me? why is this world spinning round? why does the trees grow from the ground?" Daniel Lee to Jimmy Bob said: "I am literate-- you are lead. It spins 'round goodfellows like me, I the rose, and you the weed." "but a flower red is stiel a flower!" Said Jimmy Bob a li'l bit louder. "i's gots no edercation, but i grow i's stiel a person, i know, i know." Daniel Lee with a scoff proclaimed: "You are a stemless dandy maimed! A person? Guffaw! To you these words: A Drone, unthinking, a mob, a herd." "i's gots no reading," said J.B., "but i's nots a single stick in a mob!" "No Poe? No Hawthorne? Dare I say, I see no worth in your self? I may." Angrier and nastier they grew, until a line their 'good' sense drew, told them oft, and taking heed, the dunce his shoes, the gent his steed. And off they went their paths ahead, One a rose and one some lead, But came a storm called the frost, one was stolid, one was lost. We (the poet) mightn't say, what happened on that autumn day, but we guess the lesson is, a dandy is, a dandy is. [This message has been edited by Streen (09-21-2002 09:05 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Very well done! Enjoyed the lyrical quality and the point was priceless. ThisDiamond |
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Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169 |
Thank ye very much, Diamond. And if you will notice, I just updated the poem to include around three new stanzas. I just started writing this poem tonight, so I'm finding all sorts of things to add to it.  |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh this was simply delightful! I will be back to see what more you might think of, this could go on and on as I see it too! Extremely well done, and sorry to say I have never read your poetry but shall make a point of doing so. God Bless |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Derek, I just love that technique, I think it would make a wonderful challenge to continue to add onto a single thought and build a poem from scratch, yay!!! (big hugggssssss) This is marvelous and so very wise, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a ebautiful heart, sweet Derek, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is for lack of a better word... extremely cute, Streen... I love the lightness of it and the way you rhymed it just perfectly... I too, will make it a point to look for your work from now on... ~ hugs and grinsLyra |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Streen, once again you've taken a lesson, put it in story form, and led us down the garden's pat...well done, very well done! So very glad to have you home! |
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