The Catacombes For Wranx's Challenge

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2002-09-17 08:41 AM

The Catacombes http://homepage.mac.com/pictures_exhibition/

It does not take dark midnight oil
to paint the horrors of my soul
for any glance in my eyes
will see the skulled bones piled
waiting for rats to carry away
the refuse of dead lives
lived and living still
in catacombes of meager dimension
so that crowded even now
are the thoughts of you

I see no priest
absolving my sinful ways
offering me passage from here
in hells garden
to heaven's table
so I will hunger longer
wishing again
I had not killed
that most precious part of me
you so loved once

as I did you

Let me wander
leave me still
and look not into my eyes again
for the light of you
pains me more
than the death inside

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (09-17-2002 08:50 AM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2002-09-17 09:30 AM

I have visited a catacombe..was a wedding reception...We toasted Edgar there...

Not sure I would feel comfortable in yours that you wrote of.

Nicely done, C...sad
M

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

2 posted 2002-09-17 10:02 AM

I liked this one very much
well done
or if you prefer
bad done well
arthur

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2002-09-17 10:15 AM

Cpat Hair
Well done, enjoyed the read.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2002-09-17 10:28 AM

A challenge well met by a master of word weaving.

Thank you my friend ... I truly enjoy your work ...

you rascal

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2002-09-17 12:01 PM

Ron

Especially this:

"so I will hunger longer
wishing again
I had not killed
that most precious part of me
you so loved once"

touched me.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-09-17 03:41 PM

I think we all tend to haunt ourselves...

I read this one earlier--glad you posted it here--you are a poet one can learn from just by reading.

par excellence!

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

7 posted 2002-09-17 04:23 PM

I think your talent here shines far brighter than my own, captain.

*smiles*
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2002-09-17 07:34 PM

You did the artist proud, Sir...
just as you allow us to be proud of you...

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

9 posted 2002-09-17 11:15 PM

Thanks for acceptingthe challenge, and for this remarkable work

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

10 posted 2002-09-18 12:00 PM

Cpat...A most intriguing write...Paul

This is the part I related to most, a lost soul in search of love and life within the catecombes of his mind perhaps?

Let me wander
leave me still
and look not into my eyes again
for the light of you
pains me more
than the death inside

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

11 posted 2002-09-19 01:41 PM

Ron,
loved the anger of bones, here.
Go search out A flower in my tomb,
in Dark,
for my old, old take.

Mikey

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

12 posted 2002-09-19 02:03 PM

BRAVO! beautifully written pain.
I feel movement in those restless bones.

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