Dream of the Old Castle (wranx challenge)

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-09-17 03:06 AM

I am Abbess.
Abd Al-Karim.
A slave
of generosity.

I seek the bryce
of all blodwhite--
counting gold
of byzantine.

Chivalry is indeed dead--
necks don't match the count of head.
Call The Court of Chancelry
subject to the fealty--

I pray these robes of mine will sweep,
the dust of blood from 'neath my feet.
I pray to taste blood from above--
I pray there be no Faida...

On a drawbrige--liturgy--
a candle in a turret's dream--
this castle, that was once my liege--
enticed me to the madman's brink.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-17-2002 03:13 AM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-09-17 08:11 AM

I seek the bryce
of all blodwhite--
counting gold
of byzantine.

Chivalry is indeed dead--
necks don't match the count of head.
Call The Court of Chancelry
subject to the fealty--

I pray these robes of mine will sweep,
the dust of blood from 'neath my feet.
I pray to taste blood from above--
I pray there be no Faida...

On a drawbrige--liturgy--
a candle in a turret's dream--
this castle, that was once my liege--
enticed me to the madman's brink.
=======================================

*shaking me mothy head at you* ...
I feel so small minded when I read your poetry...you are so studied and varied in your topics and your themes....just look at what you do with metaphors, analogy personification, imagery...and dont get me mothy worship started on your cadence and rhymes divine. And? there is always those certain lines that are just so "you"...so clever and witty with that edge of irony--

Chivalry is indeed dead--
necks don't match the count of head.

that head count line is poetic justice baby...and classic Sen...and that is classic poetry...
(and you KNOW what I mean when I say that)
We HAVE dicsussed this

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-09-17 08:13 AM

(big hugggsssssss) Oh Karen, it is a sad sight to see the castles we once dwelled upon being left empty, sweet friend, though I believe chivalry lives on in some people today, I believe it truly is dying and I wish for it to rebirth and for the power of innocent love to flourish! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-09-17 08:25 AM

Karen, WOW awesome write........again I shake my head and stand in admiration. What talent you have!

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2002-09-17 08:42 AM

Methinks you are one very smart brunette!
I think I'll stop here with my reply because if I write any more you'll know how stupid I am!

~ s-m-i-l-e-s ~
Earth Angel

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2002-09-17 09:15 AM

What incredible talent you have m'friend!
I read what you have written and...
*think I'll stick to painting rocks*

~hugs~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-09-17 10:27 AM

bravo! Not at all what I would have taken from the painting....but I have no problem seeing how you did. Great work my friend..

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2002-09-17 11:57 AM

serenity.
You paint broad strokes and finish with a fine brush. A pleasure to read upon.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-09-17 03:38 PM

Thank you.

and yes, Ron, I did want to try a different approach--I've been boring myself lately!

Thanks all!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2002-09-17 06:08 PM

serenity~
This is amazing! I am truly in awe of your talent.
I always enjoy reading you and I never know exactly
what I'm going to get when I click on your poetry.
You are an incredible writer, my friend!
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

10 posted 2002-09-17 07:06 PM

You are truly an amazing poet, Karen...
You write with talent as well as knowledge

~ hugs and grins

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

[This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (09-17-2002 07:07 PM).]

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

11 posted 2002-09-17 07:16 PM

Hi K, I knew the what "byzantine" referred to once, back when I was more studious and less of a barfly. Still, that did not stop my alcohol soaked brain from gasping in wonder.

Another gem.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

12 posted 2002-09-17 07:25 PM

enjoyed

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

13 posted 2002-09-17 11:18 PM

Thanks, witch

It's wonderful

~Ed

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

14 posted 2002-09-18 03:12 AM

wow...

I wish you all knew how good you are for me...such a hungry puppy lapping up praise here! I am shameless, but oooh...LOVE ME? PLEASE?

You all give me WAY too much credit...I am NOT a scholar and I don't know my assonance from a hole in the ground. But, my, I thank you.

A very humble hand*over*heart bow to YOU...wow. ("They LIKED me...they REALLY liked me!")

wow....

*sniff*

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

15 posted 2002-09-19 01:40 PM

Sen,
Off with my head!

Mike

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

16 posted 2002-09-19 02:10 PM

Shameless lapping is acceptable.
Especially when the spilled milk is the real stuff.
What an amazing, creative interpretation. I'm saving it, to remind me of another reason why I love this site. VARIETY and STYLE and sheer POETRY that leaps off the page.

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

17 posted 2002-09-19 05:27 PM

*grins* This was very well done!

As for loving you, that's easy! *pets* erm... never mind.

No one cares if you can tell assonance from a hole in the ground as long as you can use it. lol... Instincts are a poets best friend!

Loved this!

Kielo

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