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Open Poetry #22
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2002-09-16 03:20 PM



They were cellophane lines.

Colored in off shades
Crackling when read
Yet remaining semitransparent
with the meaning  almost clearly seen
as they wrapped
One on another down a page
Leaving nothing uncovered
To grow stale
From exposure

Belying the perfidy of acts
Extolling the intimate loosing
Of now for past

They were not sucked in nostrils
off a mirror, polished
still they gave a high to some
Ingesting them with abandon
Only to lie about in stupor
Telling each the other
How good it had been
Then

How bad it was
Now

Brittle wrapping on such thoughts
Is bound to split in time
Yet for now they
Cellophane

Pretty

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-09-16 03:25 PM


Something wicked in me wants to leave a one line reply.

Oh what the hell.

Make it three.

do smilies count?

I never did know when to stop.

Nothing like hitting bottom to get you to rehab...rofl...

Enjoyed. heh heh?

I'll shaddup now.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

(serenity exits, via intervention...)

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-09-16 03:25 PM


Good poem

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2002-09-16 03:28 PM


Powdered with deep thoughts. Loved the imagery here.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-09-16 03:30 PM


and by the way, it's a perfect metaphor.

The one word sarcasm ending this is sublime.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-09-16 04:00 PM


a serious write...I can't say I've been there/done that...

but your thoughts were clearly expressed.

~smiling to see you here
Maureen

geenabee
Member
since 2002-09-10
Posts 59
NC--USA
6 posted 2002-09-16 04:10 PM


Lots of layers here,
and i sense a true grasp of the falseness of it all...
man yer deep!
Someday I hope to find a depth where I can write comfortably without seeking the frivolous surface too soon.

yers truly
gb

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2002-09-16 06:00 PM




(smiles) Oh Ron, this is wonderful, your wonderful words and visions never cease to amaze me, this is another keeper under wraps, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-09-16 06:03 PM


Ron,
If we could unwrap cellophane
and find those words you wrote
in repose--

it would be worth it all.

Mike

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2002-09-17 01:49 AM


Cellophane does create some pretty colors when they're overlapped, but in the end they are separate when unwrapped.  I love this metaphor...coming from you.     
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2002-09-17 07:36 PM



I think you've done landed a few fish, here, Sir...hook, line, and sinker...

Bravo!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
11 posted 2002-09-17 09:14 PM


Me too...all the above...and the last line - catch all...

.

jwesley

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2002-09-17 10:44 PM


Nice writing...James
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

13 posted 2002-09-18 03:00 PM


wonderful metaphor use, making for a powerful poem *smile*
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