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wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

0 posted 2002-09-13 11:01 PM

I want to rub two words together
to strike a spark
to change the weather
I want the word “obliterate”
to roll the r’s right off the page
and stand in the mouth like a monolith

I want the thought “of love”
to never become a label
I want every poet able
to forever and ever fight
for the uncommon good of life

I want to talk with cummings
then with Langston Hughes
I too, want a place at the table
and fight for all She’ll lose

As Freud and Yeats both died
and Auden became but reading
the statues at the airport sank
deeper into the seeding

As I sit self-centeredly stooped
o’er my own great lack of worth
here come the rocket angels
Laying waste upon the earth

[This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (09-14-2002 07:41 PM).]

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-09-13 11:02 PM

Good

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2002-09-14 12:41 PM

"I want the thought “of love”
to never become a label
I want every poet able
to forever and ever fight
for the uncommon good of life"

Now those are some truly first class thoughts, walt. Thank you.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

3 posted 2002-09-14 02:22 AM

Walt,
You truly are way out! Way out in front of the rest of us. I'll always love your work.

P.S. Repost that poem on shoes, I liked that. Or the one on the little boy taking a rocket ride. Or both.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

4 posted 2002-09-14 11:29 AM

Your thoughts are first-class...and speak of truth as well. Truly a grand combination!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2002-09-14 11:40 AM

wayoutwalt
It's always a pleasure to read your writes.

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

6 posted 2002-09-14 11:42 AM

i just wants to say thank yuhs and Larry soon as this'n dies off I shall do thee repostes.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2002-09-14 12:01 PM

Walt, I do like this one...not that the
other poems of your's are not good...but
this one really sticks to you....LOTS!

Thanx for it..

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2002-09-14 01:08 PM

Walt~

'I want to rub two words together
to strike a spark'

Yes ... me too~
This thought is priceless~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

9 posted 2002-09-14 02:44 PM

If I would choose my favorite sections, they would be:

I want to rub two words together
                       to strike a spark
                       I want the thought “of love”
                       to never become a label
                       I want every poet able
                       to forever and ever fight
                       for the uncommon good of life

                       I want to talk with cummings
                       then with Langston Hughes
                       I too, want a place at the table

I can almost grasp the meaning of this part, I think, but wouldn't mind a bit of help.

As I sit self-centeredly stooped
                       o’er my own great lack of worth
                       here come the rocket angels
                       Lay waste upon the earth

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

10 posted 2002-09-14 05:15 PM

the last stanza just means that for all the thinking that I could be important here come madmen like Saddam who could push a button and destroy us all

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2002-09-14 07:14 PM

Ok, ok....I'm going to tell you now. I saw a movie today, won't say which one, but the artist depicted therein never really felt his truth worth to the masses...some ridiculed him, some adored him...some thought him insipid, and some, under their breath, still whistle his songs...

but a comment he once made...made me think of all of the poets here who pour forth their words...because "I'll drown if I don't get them out..."

I know the feeling. And Walt...I know you know it, too.

Well done, good Poet.

Crazy Eddie
Member

since 2002-09-14

Posts 178

12 posted 2002-09-14 07:15 PM

Strong first line, in fact the whole poem was pretty impressive.

I see you encourage critiques, I’m not qualified to give one but I did notice a couple of spots that may be worth a polish.

I’m not to sure about the use of “monolith”, it seemed to jar just a little, I had the urge to replace “cliff” with page, perhaps that might offer an alternative ending to that verse.

I got the Yeats – Freud – Auden bit, very clever btw equating psychoanalysis and poetry, my only gripe was one of order “Freud and Yeats both died and Auden” may create a more fluent link. Psychoanalysit/poet/poet instead of poet/ psychoanalyst/poet, which seemed to have my train of thought bouncing backwards and forwards, what do you think?

My last point is perhaps even more pedantic than the previous two:

I thought “Laying waste upon the world” might be worth considering.

I’d have to admit that none of the above points were big enough gripes to spoil my enjoyment of reading this poem, and like I said I’m far from qualified to offer critiques so feel free to ignore any or all of the above points.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

13 posted 2002-09-14 07:25 PM

Walt,
this was great in construction and depth, and the metaphors - superb.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

14 posted 2002-09-14 07:32 PM

Kethry and Sunny thank you abundantly

Crazy I never thought of it that way and am takin your advice

elisaseyes
Member

since 1999-07-15

Posts 196
fort worth texas

15 posted 2002-09-15 02:49 PM

I'm glad that the schooling is paying off!

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

16 posted 2002-09-15 03:54 PM

Awesome Walt!! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

17 posted 2002-09-15 04:01 PM

Yes, I agree, the schooling has given you confidence Walt...and your phrasing is moer in depth, I could learn alot from you...
I enjoyed reading you this afternoon. btw..did you pass that class?

or have they asked you to teach it next semester?

M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

18 posted 2002-09-15 04:16 PM

I would like to talk with cummings too, nice write!

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

19 posted 2002-09-15 04:50 PM

i got a lot to learn yuh I will be sad once I have no one to teach me and I will have to learn on my own! yuh yuh football calls

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

20 posted 2002-09-16 11:53 PM

I too, want a place at the table
and fight for all She’ll lose

I really liked the way you said that!

You are a slice of life wayout there!!
just don't be pulling the chair out from under me...kkkk?

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