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Open Poetry #22
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-09-12 10:16 PM


Today the current slipped sideways
without warning;
pulling me under before I caught my breath
and nothing will ever be the same.

But in my heart of all that matters
I will keep a silent watch
while crossing the dark sea of indifference
beside me as I go.

Willing me to navigate around the edge
as a compass leads, pointing in the right direction,
you shall remain the keeper of my light
beaming from a distant shore.

And when I've come that far beyond today
cutting through the slack,
I'll miss you there at daybreak
when the sun rises in my eyes.

As our ships pass and turn about in different directions
where nothing is ever as it seems
even if it could have been
it not fair that I ask you to show me the way
or take me back from whence I came.

I can't follow you nor will I look beyond the light
for a deeper meaning or troll for answers
that are not yours to lay in shallow water.
I've cast myself out so far seeking them
I don't even have a message to put in a bottle and toss overboard,
wishing to float back to you.

There's no catch on the end of my line
but I will always feel the pull
left by the reeling that winds around
slipping through the hands of time,

not so long ago~

© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2002-09-12 10:18 PM


I liked this write blues... good to see you o yuh don't spare the rod and reel!
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2002-09-12 10:21 PM


Wow!  Totally awesome use of metaphors and
the imagery is superb as well....Gosh, the
feel of not having,  the desire to just go
on without...on the seas of indifference...

Awesome poem...yep it is..

EarthenSoul
Member
since 2002-05-30
Posts 163
WA, USA
3 posted 2002-09-12 10:21 PM


Oh so beautifully blue.
I really like the lines
"There's no catch on the end of my line
but I will always feel the pull"


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2002-09-12 10:24 PM


This soulful write could be written by noneother than, "BluesSerenade".

Whoa, you sure make me want to cry me a river. I'm really feeling the anguish.
If this is based on a personal experience, my heart goes out to you.

Take Care

Earth Angel

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-09-12 10:24 PM


"I can't follow you nor will I look beyond the light
for a deeper meaning or troll for answers
that are not yours to lay in shallow water.
I've cast myself out so far seeking them
I don't even have a message to put in a bottle and toss overboard,
wishing to float back to you."




(big hugggssssss) Oh Lori, this is sad but wonderful, sweet friend, may time come and bring you great comfort and blessings and great wishes in bottled hopes, God Bless You, this is powerful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-09-12 10:57 PM


Wonderful outpouring of feelings here Lori!
Much enjoyed!
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2002-09-13 12:48 PM


Lori,
If only I could learn and grow so much from the experiences in my life. You absolutely amaze me. So much packed into this excellent write. I think I got all the nuances and appreciate each one. Almost as much as I appreciate you for your courage. You go girl!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2002-09-13 01:42 AM


"But in my heart of all that matters
I will keep a silent watch
while crossing the dark sea of indifference
beside me as I go."

You are one strong sailor! May the seas be calm for your heart's journey. Beautiful imagery, bluesygal Lori.  


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2002-09-13 03:01 AM


Wayout~ it good to see you too... oh yuh!

Magnus~ there is nothing better than to have my words be read and understood! ...to have and have not...I thank you for knowing.

EarthenSoul~ There truly isn't a catch....
but that doesn't mean I don't like to fish!!  
Thanks so much for reading.

Earth Angel~ It's a tired song, but one that never makes me feel sorry.
I appreciate your kindness.

Noah~ Reality is deeper than any ocean ....but somehow they connect and make me whole... Thanks so much~

Nancy~ I'm a storm waiting to pour... always, I thank you ever so much.

Larry~ well now, you saw right through me and blew my nuances to heck.
So much for my subtle innuendos~~ You can fool some of the people some of the time, etc, etc...............thanks you!  

Kacy~ You're a dear just for being here...
Thank you thank you~~~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2002-09-13 04:32 AM


Enjoyed...James
Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
11 posted 2002-09-13 05:06 AM


BluesSerenade...May your path be lit by a beacon in the night, to bring you safely from this journey you've taken us on...Paul
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2002-09-13 07:58 AM


Today the current slipped sideways
without warning;
pulling me under before I caught my breath
and nothing will ever be the same.

But in my heart of all that matters
I will keep a silent watch
while crossing the dark sea of indifference
beside me as I go.


love the opening of this...as I do the whole of it...but these lines spoke to me...

very nicely done my friend..

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
13 posted 2002-09-14 05:22 PM


BluesSerenade - a most compelling write. I like the way you have written this, it says a lot...

BC

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
14 posted 2002-09-14 08:04 PM


Hmmm...gotta say that although I really enjoyed it all...the power, the awesome force of that almost "after-thought" last line grabbed me and jerked me like I was on the end of that "line" you're speaking of.  Talk about stand up and take count..."...not so long ago" was your whole piece compressed to four little words.  Bravo, my friend.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
15 posted 2002-09-14 08:44 PM


BluesSerenade
By your write I see you are a good sailor.
I have no fear for your passage. Enjoyed

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
16 posted 2002-09-16 12:29 PM


I knew I have been missing out ....
     I can feel the pull of your journeys in these words. An excellent piece!
     Glad to see that you haven't been lost after all.  

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2002-09-16 02:33 PM


Oh Lori, girl these words just speak so softly and tell of such a wonderful journey.
This touches Lori.....so gently......thank you....this is a keeper for sure!

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

The Crimson Knight
Member
since 2002-09-16
Posts 57
Reno, NV
18 posted 2002-09-16 02:39 PM


Upon my mighty steed I ride the shore
With torch held high to guide your way
To see to return to this land once more
To dream to hope that you might stay

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
19 posted 2002-09-16 07:45 PM


James~ It makes me happy to know that you did....

Paul~ Thank you for your good wishes~

Ron~ That's nice to know and I thank you for telling me so, my friend too.  

Bill~ Always so good to hear from you, thank you so much.

jwesley~ I didn't mean to jerk you, sometimes the heart tugs and pulls harder than we'd like it to. Thank you for making me smile.

Mr. Tabin~  I try my best...sink or swim you know.  thanks

Craig~ My sense of direction gets the best of me now and then, what can I say?   Thank you very much for watching out for me, and for the bump up.  *Smile*

Donna~ Thank you for your sweetness...and for sharing your gentle spirit with me.  It means a lot.  

Hi Dirk~ You're so kind to leave your poetic reply for me...
my my I do thank you for that.
*welcome aboard*


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