Open Poetry #22 |
Silent Watch |
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Today the current slipped sideways without warning; pulling me under before I caught my breath and nothing will ever be the same. But in my heart of all that matters I will keep a silent watch while crossing the dark sea of indifference beside me as I go. Willing me to navigate around the edge as a compass leads, pointing in the right direction, you shall remain the keeper of my light beaming from a distant shore. And when I've come that far beyond today cutting through the slack, I'll miss you there at daybreak when the sun rises in my eyes. As our ships pass and turn about in different directions where nothing is ever as it seems even if it could have been it not fair that I ask you to show me the way or take me back from whence I came. I can't follow you nor will I look beyond the light for a deeper meaning or troll for answers that are not yours to lay in shallow water. I've cast myself out so far seeking them I don't even have a message to put in a bottle and toss overboard, wishing to float back to you. There's no catch on the end of my line but I will always feel the pull left by the reeling that winds around slipping through the hands of time, not so long ago~ |
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© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved | |||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I liked this write blues... good to see you o yuh don't spare the rod and reel! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Wow! Totally awesome use of metaphors and the imagery is superb as well....Gosh, the feel of not having, the desire to just go on without...on the seas of indifference... Awesome poem...yep it is.. |
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EarthenSoul Member
since 2002-05-30
Posts 163WA, USA |
Oh so beautifully blue. I really like the lines "There's no catch on the end of my line but I will always feel the pull" |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This soulful write could be written by noneother than, "BluesSerenade". Whoa, you sure make me want to cry me a river. I'm really feeling the anguish. If this is based on a personal experience, my heart goes out to you. Take Care Earth Angel |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"I can't follow you nor will I look beyond the light for a deeper meaning or troll for answers that are not yours to lay in shallow water. I've cast myself out so far seeking them I don't even have a message to put in a bottle and toss overboard, wishing to float back to you." (big hugggssssss) Oh Lori, this is sad but wonderful, sweet friend, may time come and bring you great comfort and blessings and great wishes in bottled hopes, God Bless You, this is powerful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful outpouring of feelings here Lori! Much enjoyed! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lori, If only I could learn and grow so much from the experiences in my life. You absolutely amaze me. So much packed into this excellent write. I think I got all the nuances and appreciate each one. Almost as much as I appreciate you for your courage. You go girl! If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"But in my heart of all that matters I will keep a silent watch while crossing the dark sea of indifference beside me as I go." You are one strong sailor! May the seas be calm for your heart's journey. Beautiful imagery, bluesygal Lori. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Wayout~ it good to see you too... oh yuh! Magnus~ there is nothing better than to have my words be read and understood! ...to have and have not...I thank you for knowing. EarthenSoul~ There truly isn't a catch.... but that doesn't mean I don't like to fish!! Thanks so much for reading. Earth Angel~ It's a tired song, but one that never makes me feel sorry. I appreciate your kindness. Noah~ Reality is deeper than any ocean ....but somehow they connect and make me whole... Thanks so much~ Nancy~ I'm a storm waiting to pour... always, I thank you ever so much. Larry~ well now, you saw right through me and blew my nuances to heck. So much for my subtle innuendos~~ You can fool some of the people some of the time, etc, etc...............thanks you! Kacy~ You're a dear just for being here... Thank you thank you~~~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
BluesSerenade...May your path be lit by a beacon in the night, to bring you safely from this journey you've taken us on...Paul |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Today the current slipped sideways without warning; pulling me under before I caught my breath and nothing will ever be the same. But in my heart of all that matters I will keep a silent watch while crossing the dark sea of indifference beside me as I go. love the opening of this...as I do the whole of it...but these lines spoke to me... very nicely done my friend.. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
BluesSerenade - a most compelling write. I like the way you have written this, it says a lot... BC |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Hmmm...gotta say that although I really enjoyed it all...the power, the awesome force of that almost "after-thought" last line grabbed me and jerked me like I was on the end of that "line" you're speaking of. Talk about stand up and take count..."...not so long ago" was your whole piece compressed to four little words. Bravo, my friend. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
BluesSerenade By your write I see you are a good sailor. I have no fear for your passage. Enjoyed |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
I knew I have been missing out .... I can feel the pull of your journeys in these words. An excellent piece! Glad to see that you haven't been lost after all. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Oh Lori, girl these words just speak so softly and tell of such a wonderful journey. This touches Lori.....so gently......thank you....this is a keeper for sure! If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream... |
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The Crimson Knight Member
since 2002-09-16
Posts 57Reno, NV |
Upon my mighty steed I ride the shore With torch held high to guide your way To see to return to this land once more To dream to hope that you might stay |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
James~ It makes me happy to know that you did.... Paul~ Thank you for your good wishes~ Ron~ That's nice to know and I thank you for telling me so, my friend too. Bill~ Always so good to hear from you, thank you so much. jwesley~ I didn't mean to jerk you, sometimes the heart tugs and pulls harder than we'd like it to. Thank you for making me smile. Mr. Tabin~ I try my best...sink or swim you know. thanks Craig~ My sense of direction gets the best of me now and then, what can I say? Thank you very much for watching out for me, and for the bump up. *Smile* Donna~ Thank you for your sweetness...and for sharing your gentle spirit with me. It means a lot. Hi Dirk~ You're so kind to leave your poetic reply for me... my my I do thank you for that. *welcome aboard* |
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