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Open Poetry #22

How My Dreams Came to Be

Fandaen
Junior Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 47
Ft Worth, Texas

0 posted 2002-09-06 07:41 PM

I saw him there
Gun in his hand
His eyes so young and full of fear
In his veins pumped blood
In his brain was his memories of mother, lover, and friends

He saw me there
Gun in my hand
My eyes so young and full of fear
In my veins pumped blood
In my brain was my memories of mother, lover, and friends

We both were there
Guns in our hands
Our eyes saw each other
Blood pumped faster in our veins
Our brains forced our bodies into action, I fired first

I saw him there
Gun on the ground
His eyes were blank and stareing
His veins pumped blood to the ground
His brain was blank, the memories no longer there

I was there alone
Gun in my hand
My eyes full of tears
My veins still pumped blood
My brain imbeds the image of his eyes, his face, his blood

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

1 posted 2002-09-06 07:57 PM

Pistols at dawn eh?

A Texan writes a Western,

I like this, the way you portrayed the duel makes it seem so pointless and so very sad.

Good Work,

Zall

Fandaen
Junior Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 47
Ft Worth, Texas

2 posted 2002-09-06 08:01 PM

Thank you for your kind words.

Actually it is a relation of my first combat experience as written last night after waking from one of my usual nightmares.

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

3 posted 2002-09-07 12:03 PM

This is a good, intense, emotional poem!

O' to be delivered from the realm of the rational into pure song...

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2002-09-07 12:24 PM

Poignant. A very painful vivid image, it only highlights the futility of war and violence.
I wish you more pleasant dreams, but I understand that these images are very powerful. Peace to you dear friend.

May ripples of LOVE
become waves of PEACE

Fandaen
Junior Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 47
Ft Worth, Texas

5 posted 2002-09-08 10:21 PM

Thank you Midnitesun

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