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This text of masks (response to my challenge)
| Open Poetry #22 |
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This text of masks (response to my challenge) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Everyone who's tried this challenge has done wonderfully.... My turn, to at least try... Mikey This text of masks (five breaths left) I place my hand over the rough map of the world. Just a globe of light spinning out among the dark. Sweating rivers into valleys, breathing snow across the plains. Contours twisting toward the ocean. Do they speak then to the sea? Which poem is verse of hope, and of which a city's sprawl needing to be drawn back to itself? Centers crumble to their contours, to be washed out to some sea. I see faces in the dust, notes on windshields, over me. This text of masks is something read in the eyes of something said. This text of masks is something born in the mouth of someone torn. This text of masks is something taken from the hands of those left shaken. This text of masks a ribboned book. Untied enclave. Listen. Look. And you send me across the miles. You send me across this sky. I have learned that five breaths left go: what what what what why ... And you sent me across the distance. You left me to prologue's silence. I have learned that five breaths left are an epilogue to violence. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well blow us away why don't you? I'm retracting my attempt.  Bravo! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
No way, Sun. I like yours way better. Mine got all September-eleventhy.  Mike |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Oh, p.s., glad you enjoyed. (my head's not with me today  )Mike |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you know.... I think I need to go delete the things I wrote... you put together an edgy visual piece that captured my attention and my respect... reads like a song and feels so intense it crackles... I tip my hat to my better.... Bravo!!! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Ron. Me just do what me do. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And for it to command respect --- wow.... .m. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-06-2002 02:06 PM).] |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
damn Mikey.........this is awesome! If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream... |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
Yes it commands respect. You did write an intense and well expressed emotional piece. I admire it and you for the style you speak great work! smiles, Cher Poetry is: |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Gentle Spirit and CSK. I appreciate that.Mikey |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Mike, I think you did very well yourself.. and the feel of it fits perfectly the event.... Neat Challenge, lots of variations... Barry |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike What the Cpat said was perfect. You really did good with this. Thinking I might give it a try, but....may just give it a sigh. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Magnus. I liked yr take on it, too. Martie, sigh if you must, but I'd *love* to see you sculpt from this (hard) clay. Mikey |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I see faces in the dust, notes on windshields, over me. This text of masks is something read in the eyes of something said. This text of masks is something born in the mouth of someone torn. This text of masks is something taken from the hands of those left shaken. This text of masks a ribboned book. Untied enclave. Listen. Look. And you send me across the miles. You send me across this sky. I have learned that five breaths left go: what what what what why ... And you sent me across the distance. You left me to prologue's silence. I have learned that five breaths left are an epilogue to violence. =================================== So many lines in this left an imprint..an impress...some stirred up a longing... some fear...some left behind a haunting linger..some a touch in trace. How do you do this with such constance..such consistancy...such grace...does your muse ever stop whispering magic in your mind... gawwwd I hope not  |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Ditto all of the above Mikey, and then some... awesome! ~Tier "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Great work....I enjoyed very much. DeaDiAmore |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks to the three major arms of my fan club. Oh wait ... three arms????Mikey (proud member/arm/whatever of yrs, too!) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Impressive, powerful and compelling images. Now I know I'm not posting mine after reading this. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Aw, don't be like that, Kethry. I showed you mine, now show me yrs. Mikey |
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