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MidnightSon
Member

since 2002-05-15

Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars

0 posted 2002-09-01 05:27 PM

*this may not meet poetic criteria...but here it is anyway.*

let me tell you about Ethan Halo.
"Ethan" means constant."
"halo" is the mark of the good and wise.
Two virtues he strived to attain.
The name literally translates to "constant protection".
"A constant guardian to those in need of a protector. A concrete good in a world of change."
He wrote that a while ago.
All he ever wanted to do was help. Lend a hand.
Help the hopeless, as it is often put.
He failed.
He failed.

How can i give such insight?
He was me. The only good parts of me.
i strived hard to be those things...
A wounded healer can only help so much,
his own wounds ne'er attended.

You know how if you hear things enough times, you believe them?
worthless, good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-well, directionless
and worse.
Ethan wore those labels, too often.
And in the midst of simply trying to find the right thing to do.
i wear those labels, even now.
"a constant good thing."
i guess not.
i took my best shot at becoming a better person.
but "better" isn't good enough.
and you don't hear too much from the guy that takes his shot
and misses.

"So do the proud men die.
crucified not on a cross of gold,
but on a stake of humble tin."

i never set out to fail.
but i'm not strong enough to persevere
anymore.
i'll see ya when i see ya

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

[This message has been edited by MidnightSon (09-01-2002 05:29 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2002-09-01 07:15 PM

"A wounded healer can only help so much,
his own wounds ne'er attended."

Are you taking some time off for self-healing, rejuvenation?

hello from MIDNITESUN, friend

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-09-01 07:18 PM

I don't know what to say..we certainly don't set out to fail, and sometimes what looks like failure to us, may in fact be a vitory. May that be so for you and may you learn of it as well.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-09-01 07:49 PM

I smile here at the memory of this question, asked by ME, to a certain jewish lady who also happened to be an amah of Santeria:

"How can I possibly help others, when I am damaged myself."

She exhaled and just said:

"A fat, chain-smoking, heart surgeon saved my life once."

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

4 posted 2002-09-01 08:28 PM

hugs - that's all I'll say here

K

MIdsummerRain
Member

since 2002-05-19

Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

5 posted 2002-09-10 12:40 PM

"...i took my best shot at becoming a better person..."

As did I...such a unique piece you have here, I was caught off guard (-& loved it) Reflective & Magnetic; Loved this -it feels good to "read you" again ~Rayne

One day Men will look back & say
that I gave birth to the 20th Century

Jack the Ripper ~1888

[This message has been edited by MIdsummerRain (09-10-2002 12:42 AM).]

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