I made this amazing observation over in Dark... That being that a song is, in fact, a poem put to music. (Wow, ain't I smart?) This would, therefore, mean that I can toss in not just my poems, but my lyrics as well. Truly a nifty concept. Now I just hafta find a loophole to somehow squish my waaaay-too-long stories into the context of poetry somehow... Nah, I'm not that mean.

Anyway, all told, shall we now look into the heart of my punk-grrl alter-ego (though believe me, she is NOT my only alter-ego; I think I switch personalities more often than I do clothes). So brought to you by none other than Kim Kissably (of the fictional "Kim Kissably and the Red Lips Sextet" fame!   ), we have:

MY FAVORITE KLEPTO

He walks right into
the makeup store
and chats it up
with the cosmetician.
“Yeah, my girlfriend’s
into extremes.
Where d’ya
keep yer gaudy stuff?”
He goes through the motions
of a clueless slaveboy
and walks out with enough junk
lining his pockets
to fuel a glam career.

He tosses a stick
of mascara in the air
then catches it
and laughs out loud.
He smiles with his eyes
and tells me he can do it,
he told me he could do it,
and just because,

he did it.

This boy
isn’t my boy,
but he is my
favorite klepto.
It’s a challenge
for self,
that’s his only
excuse.

He offers me the silver liner,
and more if I let him
run with my band.
I offer him the directions to hell,
which he kindly passes off.
He’s been there many times already,
and the fire and the brimstone
just get older every day.
He offers me the entire world
in return for a night in my favor,
and I tell him that I’ll think about
if he can manage to steal my heart.

He hands me a golden
heart-shaped pendant
and says “that’s a challenge I can accept,”
then he disappears down the street
to some sort of place unknown.
I stare after him in wonder,
then open my hand to see nothing there.
He comes up from behind me
to dangle my stolen heart
in front of my face.

This boy
isn’t my boy,
but he is my
favorite klepto.
It’s a challenge
for self,
that’s his only excuse.

I re-enter the world
of romantic thought
for my favorite klepto.
He is the first and will be the last
to ever steal my heart.