»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #21
»
Les Walt Miserables (for Serenity)
| Open Poetry #21 |
|
Les Walt Miserables (for Serenity) |
|
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
|
Les Walt Miserables The players: The forces of good: Wayoutwalt the hero 010101110 binary code the essence of it all The Internet Serenity Cupid Sprites and fairies The forces of evil: The computer Act I the Arrival (en media res) (The scene begins with little Walt Vowing to never again take halt) Walt: I am! I am! truly now alive I have a computer, just one, no, not five I am the king, the king of the empire! And I will, I will sate my one desire There is only one thing that I do not own I want a woman, a pretty girl to call my own! (Walt, our hero, sits in front of his brand new toy Unaware it has a mind to crush this little boy) (Enter the evil computer) Hiss! Computer: Look at him! He thinks that he will rule his empire But he does not know that I have a loose wire I will show him bounty he could never ever spend!! And then I will, I will destroy him in the end!! Hiss! Walt: I am dreaming of a lady that I will ever love My intentions are pure from the angels up above I have my poetry to accompany my mythic lyre And I will forever say these words I AM A POET Without fear! Hiss! Computer: He thinks that he will woo them with his savior faire In a month he’ll resort to pornos for the women there And I will be his god and I will rule his world And I will remove his need to eat I will give him smelly feet And he will never change his underwear Cuz the women I provide him will not care!! Hiss! Walt: I have my 500 hours it’s all I’ll ever need I will find a decent lady and ride her off on my steed Computer: You my son will gain unlimited access And you will be mine forever no not less!! Walt: First though I need a name unlike no other I must be sure to keep the name given by my mother! (The muse Serenity dances in) Serenity: (unheard by Walt) you my son are in need of a name Nothing like your initials, no that would just be lame! I think I have it, oh, hear it is It roles off the tongue just like in grand show biz! (Serenity dips down and whispers in Walt’s ear) Walt: oh, I have got it, EUREKA, I exclaim I just thought of the best ever psuedoname! Chorus of invisible fairies and sprites (drink Sprite it’s ite): This is the beginning though we are at the middle We might be thinking that Walt is just more human piddle But he has a new name,a new name is what he has So he can win the hearts of girls who might else think him a spaz! wayoutwalt: I am wayoutwalt! wayoutwalt is who I am I have email although I just get spam There is a haven of places to go and chat I will soon be the coolest of the crazy cats But for now, oh, I can smell my socks And suddenly I have Ninety-nine girls in my buddy box! (yeah!) Act II Engaging wayoutwalt: I take these ladies and spin em on my finger They wish that the time with me would always ever linger But there is only so much room for IM’s on the screen BRB I say to them as not to be mean Hiss! Computer: It is beginning I am gaining control Another foolish human I own its very soul He thought that he could have a girl of his very own But look at him sitting there it’s late and he’s alone (yeah!) (Enter a bit of binary code on the screen) 110010010 (Translation: EKD71) EKD71: My name is EKD71 and this is all new to me wayoutwalt: (thinking aloud) I do not think that you're lame just cuz you used your initials: EKD! What, o dear, does the 71 mean to you? EKD71: It was the year that I was born, toodaloo (Exit EKD71) EKD: I don’t think that he is thinking about me I just thought it would be cool to name myself EKD! wayoutwalt: it’s okay she named herself EKD I just wonder will she ever fall in love with me EKD: I think that wayoutwalt is a stupid name He must think that he’s something other than just lame (Enter Cupid the god of Valentines Day) Cupid: EKD you will ask wayoutwalt on a date You can’t escape Destiny it is your one true fate EKD: (can hear Cupid cuz she is a woman and therefore in tuned to the cosmically weird) But Cupid, I can’t ask him on a date He is binary code at any rate Cupid: He is mere piddle on the cosmic plate But oh, dear EKD he’s human at any rate (clacking sounds) wayoutwalt: I must, I must sign on and find her EKD: I must, I must sign on and find him (Burly male voice saying: You Have Mail) wayoutwalt: I have email but no I am not dumb EKD is in my box so I don’t care whom it’s from! (soprano) EKD71: Where do you live? (tenor) wayoutwalt: Where do I live? (soprano)EKD71: Where do you live? (tenor) wayoutwalt: Where do I live? wayoutwalt: I, dear EKD, have seen your buddy profile It pleases me to tell you, from where you are a couple miles! EKD: How would you like to go and see the state fair (CRASH) (Evil laughing) Hiss! Computer: I’m sorry EKD but he seems to just not care! wayoutwalt: oh dear, oh dear, my computer’s on the blink Darnit wayoutwalt, man, this means you have to think! (Sprites and fairies dance around the computer) (A revving sound) (clacking) (You Have Mail) wayoutwalt: there she is EKD71 Yes I'd love to go, I think it would be fun! (Serenity, Cupid, sprites and fairies, wayoutwalt, my wife then named Elisa K Dennis born in 1971, holding hands and swaying) Chorus: that was the end of the computer and its evil ways It sits in a pawnshop, unplugged to this day In return for the vile machine a ring of finest karat And to the happy ending, she said "Yes!" I will wear it! (yeah!) (Bows and curtsies) (Curtain drops) (Fade Happy Ending theme) [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (08-13-2002 09:39 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I could have sworn I've read this before, but it could be a figment of your imagination that I'm even reading it now...LOL... Serenity is SUCH a siren! |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
o yuh you've read it b4 reposte reposte!! |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I remember this from before Walt. This really is my favourite poem of yours...it's just so neat. I love it You can never win or lose |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey waltie! Thanks for dusting this off for me--I loved it the first time and now that you've reminded me? It's saved... very creative piece of work---you KNOW I love this! hugs you, and thanks again! (and thanks for letting me know, I haven't been around much lately...  ) |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
oh yuh o yuh neither have i so yuh |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
