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Open Poetry #21
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Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2002-08-12 05:10 PM


Clouds of heavens day
a subtle reasons sky so blue
angels soar beneath his eyes
flourish candies brilliant eyes
silently wasted

© Copyright 2002 Kellie M. Cantrell - All Rights Reserved
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2002-08-12 05:22 PM


Clouds of heavens day
subtle reasons sky so blue
silently wasted
angels soar beneath his eyes
flourish candies brilliant eyes

There you go 5,7,5,7,7.  These are sometimes tricky but I see you counted it really well!  I think you had a little typo on the second line and the "a" was left that is all I could see.

Good for you!  I see you have been reading and this was a fantastic first attempt.  

Here is a great link for you Kellie http://www.ahapoetry.com/richtank.htm

I pass this way but once so I hope to meet you.
            
Sharon

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
2 posted 2002-08-12 05:26 PM


oops the "a" wasn't supposed to be there i dont think. well i read wrong cuz i thought it was 57575
Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
3 posted 2002-08-13 09:53 PM


Clouds of heavens day
subtle reasons sky so blue
silently wasted
angels soar beneath his eyes
flourish candies brilliant cries

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